YGO Commercial Try Outs!
by TheFemalePharaoh
Summary: The insanity continues, I rated it M to be safe! Any suggestions for commercials are always welcomed!
1. Joey's Turn

Title: YGO Commercials

Genre: Humor

Authoress: The Female Pharaoh

Rating: T

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL

* * *

Chapter One: Joey Wheeler's Commercial Debut for MasterCard.

* * *

The entire YGO cast is trying out for commercials. Joey is up first. He was to do the voice-over for the MasterCard commercial. Even Seto Kaiba was there, along with Pegasus. 

"Okay, quiet on the set!" yelled the Director. "Joey, are you nervous?" "Nah, I'm good" said a smirking Joey. (A/N: Wait. Joey-smirking?! NOT GOOD!) Joey settled in the booth and had his own script that he made up for this. "Okay" shouted the Director. "Joey Voice Test-Take one. ACTION!"

Joey cleared his throat and started in:

* * *

Hidden Video Cameras (with help from Mokuba)…………………………………………………...……….$2,500.00 

VHS Blank Video Tapes……………………………………...…………...…………$1,600.00

One revenge-seeking "Blond Puppy"…………………………………….…...…...….$0

One soon-to-be-totally embarrassed "Dragonmaster"…………………...…………...…$0

* * *

_**"The look on Seto Kaiba's face when he finds out **_

_**I have been videotaping him**_

_**masturbating in his sleep**_……………………………………………...……**PRICELESS!**

* * *

Seto was beet-red from embarrassment and rage. He rushes onto the set. **"YOU CONNIVING SON FO A BITCH!!!!! DIE!!!!"** He lunges at Joey and starts to beat the crap out of him. The screen goes blank with the message …. 

"**There are some things that money can't buy…..FOR EVERYTHING ELSE, THERE'S ALWAYS KAIBA'S MASTERCARD!"**

* * *

Well, should I do more? 

I am totally open for ideas and suggestions for the next ones!

PLEASE R/R!


	2. Ryou and Bakura's Turn

Title: YGO Commercials

Genre: Humor

Authoress: The Female Pharaoh

Rating: T

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL

* * *

My thanks to all who reviewed. HOWEVER... 

**I am truly sorry if the Grandpa commercial grossed you out. _I really mean that!_ I was just going for shock value, that is all!**

* * *

Any suggestions for the next commercial is welcomed! 

Chapter Three: Ryou and Bakura's Public Service Announcement

Next up was the ever-polite Ryou Bakura. He was auditioning for Public Service Announcer. The YGO cast, after being thoroughly traumatized by Grandpa's "audition", settled back and relaxed as Ryou was getting ready. Seto, realizing that Ryou was the sane one of the bunch, decided to let Mokuba back into the room.

"Okay, quiet on the set, please!" yelled the Director. The room was death-quiet.

"Are you ready to go, Ryou-kun?"

"Yes, I suppose" said a nervous Ryou.

He took his place inside the sound booth and prepared himself mentally for the upcoming performance He placed his neatly typed transcript on the desk before him and readied himself.

"Ready?" asked the Director. Ryou nodded.

"Okay…Ryou's Screen Test-Take One-ACTION!"

* * *

The screen read: THE FOLLOWING IS A PULIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT 

Ryou looked up at the camera, smiled and began:

"Top of the afternoon, everyone! My name is Ryou Bakura and I am here to make a public service announcement. In regards to Duel Monsters, these holographic images are just that-images. They are not real, and they will NOT steal your soul. On the other hand, MY yami, whose name is Bakura, WILL steal your soul, food and anything else he can sell off or pawn. This is what happens when you have a Millennium Item. You know, I prayed to God and asked Him EVERY night, "What eternally damning thing did I do wrong to deserve this? I mean, Yuugi's yami, named Yami, of course, is the coolest."

Yami gives Ryou a thumbs-up and a smile.

"Malik's yami, named Marik, is just…um…not right in the head"

Malik laughed while Marik yelled, "HEY!"

"My dad just _had _to get this damned Millennium Ring and just _had_ to bring the shit home! Just think about it, people: I could have had a normal life if it wasn't for this …parasitic psycho-thief!"

Bakura was looking wide eyed at Ryou. He never thought that Ryou hated him so much, but then again…he DID do some God-awful crap to him as well.

Ryou was past his breaking point. He put his head in his hands and wept. At this time, Bakura ran up to the stage and threw his arms around Ryou, whispering soothing words to him. Everyone else looked on in sympathy and curiosity.

The following things were said:

* * *

"Ryou, do you truly hate me that much?" Bakura asked with tears in his eyes. 

"Bakura, I don't hate you, but I hate how you hurt me all these months. What did I do wrong? I am so sorry, Bakura!" Ryou sobbed in Bakura's arms.

"You did nothing wrong, my angel. It was me that was wrong. I was wrong for treating you like you didn't matter. YOU DO MATTER TO ME, RYOU, AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS!" Bakura cried.

"Y-y-you d-do? I always loved you, Bakura, but I kept it to myself because I felt that you hated me!" Ryou hiccupped.

"Well, shall we make it official then? This seems like the perfect place to do so." Bakura said slyly.

"Let's" Ryou said happily.

Bakura turned to the camera to issue the following statement:

**"LISTEN UP, YOU MOTHER(BEEEEEEP!)ING BASTARDS! HERE IS YOUR RA-DAMNED PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT: _"RYOU AND I ARE NOW A COUPLE!"_ SO, YOU DESPERATE BITCHES OUT THERE IN "BOOB-TUBE CITY"CAN TURN THIS OFF AND GO (BEEEP!) YOURSELVES! IF I CATCH ANY OF YOU AROUND MY RYOU, I WILL SEND YOUR DESPERATE ASSES TO THE SHADOW REALM. IS THAT CLEAR?! THANK YOU AND GO TO HELL!"**

"BAKURA!" shouted a shocked and madly blushing Ryou

"What?" Bakura asked "You should know by now I will not change!"

"Ryou sighed "I know 'Kura, and I wouldn't have it any other way, My King of Thieves!"

"You'd better believe it, my most cherished treasure" Bakura is starting to get a little mushy here!

Ryou and Bakura share a chaste kiss. Joey was making gagging sounds in the background. Bakura looked at the camera adn did a slicing motion across his throat.

The screen went black. Everyone was congratulating Ryou and Bakura' newfound relationship.

* * *

Will that do, folks? 

I figured a little fluff and angst was in order!

DO NOT WORRY, FOLKS!

MORE INSANITY IS ON THE WAY!

As always…I am totally open for ideas and suggestions for the next ones!

PLEASE R/R!


	3. Seto's Turn

Title: YGO Commercials

Genre: Humor

Authoress: The Female Pharaoh

Rating: T

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL

My thanks to all who reviewed.

Any suggestions for the next commercial is welcomed!

* * *

Chapter Four: Seto Kaiba's Debut for MasterCard 

The next one to go up was the ever-so-arrogant Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corp. He was also doing the voice over for MasterCard. He was determined to upstage Joey. He was going to embarrass the living hell out of him, but decided against it for some unknown reason. Mokuba was cheering on his brother!

"Okay, please …quiet on the set, please!" yelled the Director. The room was silenced.

"Anytime you're ready Mr. Kaiba?" said the Director

"I am ready" said a confident-sounding Kaiba .

He took his place inside the sound booth and was totally relaxed and smiled. (A/N: SEO smiling….uh-oh!)

"Ready?" asked the Director. Seto nodded.

"Okay…Mr. Seto Kaiba's Voice Test-Take One-ACTION!"

* * *

Kaiba looked up dead ahead and began: 

Shin implants…………………………………………………………$150.000.00

Wooden Stilts…………………………………………………………….$250.00

_**The look on Yuugi Mutou's face when he**_

_**realizes that his is now tall enough**_

**_for the rides at Six Flags…………………………………………..._PRICELESS!

* * *

**

Yuugi was wide-eyed and ran to his Grandpa crying. Mokuba glared at his brother "Seto! How could you?! THAT WAS CRUEL!" Joey growled and Yami had the Sennen Eye glowing on his forehead. Seto was about to keep the insults going until he saw Seth walk towards him, the Sennen Eye glowing on his head as well. He slapped Seto hard across his face.

" I am most ashamed to even consider you as my reincarnation, let alone my lover. Apologize to the Pharaoh's partner NOW."

Seto stood his ground. "And if I refuse?"

Seth whispered something along the lines of , "I can go without sex a LOT longer than you, Seto. Think about it."

Seto immediately apologized to Yuugi. Seth smiled at Seto. Joey calmed down and Yami's Sennen Eye disappeared.

The screen blanked out with the following message:

"**There are some things money can't buy, but for everything else, there is always KAIBA CORP. MASTERCARD!"

* * *

**

Will that do, folks?

Ideas? Comments? I 'm open!

PLEASE R/R!


	4. Malik and Marik's Turn

Title: YGO Commercials

Genre: Humor

Authoress: The Female Pharaoh

Rating: T

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL

My thanks to all who reviewed.

**I am truly sorry if the Grandpa commercial grossed you out. I really mean that! I was just going for shock value, that is all!**

Any suggestions for the next commercial is welcomed!

* * *

Chapter Three: Malik's Public Service Announcement 

"Next up for the Public Service Announcement is Malik Ishtar. Malik, please come onto the stage." said the Director.

Platinum-blond hottie named Malik strode to the stage with confidence and with a little apprehension.

"QUIET"!" yelled the Director. The room was silent once again.

"Are you ready Malik?"

"Yes, quite" said Malik.

He sat down at the desk and prepared himself. He had no script brcause he was doing his from memory.

"Ready?" asked the Director. Malik nodded.

"Okay…Malik Ishtar's Screen Test-Take One-ACTION!"

* * *

The screen read: THE FOLLOWING IS A PULIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

* * *

Malik looked up at the camera, smiled and began:

"Hi, everyone. My name is Malik Ishtar, and I am from Egypt. I was once the tomb-keeper for the Pharaoh, Yami."

Yami waves.

Malik continues.

"Now, because I was jealous, I became angry and resentful towards him. Because of that, my anger cause me to create a creature that is totally evil and corrupt-a complete psycho! You may have seen him during Battle City. He took over my body at the time and I was unable to stop him. Now, we have separate bodies. I am telling you that to tell you this…PLEASE, IF YOU HAVE ANGER ISSUES, BY ALL MEANS, PLEASE GO GET SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP! Anger management, stress management, medication, psychotherapy, padded room, straitjacket-WHO GIVES A DAMN?! If you do not then you will end up with something as demented and batty as THIS asshole, Marik!"

* * *

At this time, Marik was about to jump all over Malik, but he had a special surprise. Malik help up the glowing Millennium Rod, stopping him dead in his tracks. 

"Now, my mind-slave Marik: do you love me"

"Yes, my hikari-pretty!"

Malik blushed, _I told him to stop calling me that! Oh well…_

"Marik. would you do anything for me?"

"Yes, my love"

"Would you cut your hair for me?"

"Yes, my love"

Malik hands him some garden shears and Marik stars cutting his hair. When he was done cutting it, his hair looked like Tristan's.

* * *

The following things were taking place: 

_Seto was laughing his head off and taking pictures of Marik's new haircut._

_So was Yami_

_Yuugi begged Yami to be nice and stop taking those pictures_

_Yami refused_

_Grandpa was chuckling_

_Pegasus was laughing_

_The girls were shrieking_

_Mokuba was videotaping this for blackmail purposes later_

* * *

Malik got an idea.

"Mai, do you have your cosmetics kit with you?"

"Sure, hon. Why?" asked Mai.

"Serenity, do you have any of that baby lotion you use?" asked Malik

"Yeah, right here in my purse." said Serenity.

"Tea, do you have your old cheerleader uniform with you with pom-poms?", asked Malik.

"Uh-huh" said Tea.

"Ishizu, may I please see your spare earrings, sandals, and bangles?" asked Malik.

"As you wish, Brother" said Ishizu

"Go get them. ladies…HURRY!"

The girls ran off getting the requested items and returned with them. Yuugi was very curious now, as was Mokuba and the rest.

"Malik, what are you doing, and why do you need those items?" asked Yuugi.

"Well…do you remember Marik saying he would never be one of Yami's pathetic cheerleaders?", asked Malik.

They all nodded.

"Well…he is now getting ready to break that vow. He would also be getting a makeover as well!"

Everyone was grinning evilly. Malik then turned back to the Rod-controlled Marik.

* * *

"MARIK…STRIP ALL THE WAY DOWN!" commanded Malik.

"Yes, my love" Marik then starts to strip down, removing even his boxers.

"Yuugi, close your eyes, You're too young to see this!" said Yami, quickly covering Yuugi's eyes.

Grandpa just stared, horrorstruck. "Yami, I believe we're **_all _**too young to see this!"

"I totally agree" said Seth, closing his eyes.

"Cover your eyes, too, Mokuba!" commanded Seto.

"Turn your head, Ryou", said Bakura

"Rebecca, cover those peepers, girl" said Ishizu

"Turn your back to him, Serenity" said Joey

After five minutes, Malik said, "OKAY! OPEN THEN NOW!"

* * *

The younger ones, and everyone else, opened their eyes to see the following sight: 

Marik was dressed in Tea's old cheerleader outfit (that was WAY too tight and WAY too short. He was showing ass and other-ahem-"parts") with the words "GO, PHARAOH" written on the top in marker

His hair still looked like Tristan's haircut

He was wearing Ishizu's bangles, earrings and sandals

He was smelling like Serenity 's baby lotion

He had Tea's pom-poms in his hands

Mai put on the makeup perfectly: lipstick, foundation, eyeliner, mascara, blush

"Mokuba! Hurry…get the camcorder!" hollered a laughing Joey

"Oh, my Ra! This is gonna be TOO good!" smirked Yami, getting his own camera

* * *

The Director was too stunned to move, but quickly recovered to tell the cameramen to put those cameras on the oh-so-freakishly-adorable Marik! 

"Marik, honey. say a cheer for the Pharaoh," commanded a giggling Malik.

"Yes, my love" Marik then started jumping up and down, shaking the pom-poms (and other parts) and shouted the following cheer:

"YAMI-YAMI-HE'S OUR MAN!

IF HE CAN'T DO IT, NO ONE CAN!

YAMI-YAMI-EYES LIKE FLAMES

YAMI-HE'S THE KING OF GAMES!

GO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O YAMI-WHOOT!"

Everyone was clapping and cheering.

* * *

"Very good, Now, take a bow, Marik, honey" said a evilly grinning Malik 

"Yes, my love" Malik bowed showing his naked ass and other "parts". Everyone, including the director, was taking pictures like crazy.

"I think that we had enough fun for the day, folks" Malik raised up the Millennuim Rod to Marik's face. "You are now free of the Rod's control"

Marik snapped out of it. He stared blankly at Malik before everyone in the studio fell out laughing.

"What is so Ra-damned funny?!" bellowed Marik.

It was then he saw himself in the mirror. His face was red with total embarrassment and from rage.

He turned to Malik.

"YOU HAD THE ROD, DIDN'T YOU?!"

Malik blushed, "Maybe"

"You will SO pay for this when we get home!"

* * *

Oh, no! Poor Malik! 

Will that do, folks?

As always…I am totally open for ideas and suggestions for the next ones!

PLEASE R/R!


	5. Yami and Yuugi's Turn

Title: YGO Commercials

Genre: Humor

Authoress: The Female Pharaoh

Rating: T

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL

My thanks to all who reviewed.

Any suggestions for the next commercial are welcomed!

* * *

Chapter Six: Yami and Yuugi's Public Service Announcement

* * *

"Yami and Yuugi please report for your Public Service Announcement try-out!" said the Director.

Both tri-haired guys walked onto the stage. One is radiating confidence, the other shimmering with nervousness.

"Yami, I am so scared. What if we screw this up?" said a nervous Yuugi.

"Oh, Aibou, do not worry. We'll do fine, I am sure of it" assured Yami.

They went to the desk, facing the camera.

They told the Director they were ready to start.

"QUIET"!" yelled the Director. The room was silent once again.

"Okay…Yami and Yuugi's Screen Test-Take One-ACTION!"

* * *

The screen read: THE FOLLOWING IS A PULIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

* * *

Yuugi looked wide-eyed at the camera and began:

"Hi, guys. I am Yuugi Mouto, and this is my lover, Yami. Say hello, Yami!" said an excited Yuugi.

Yami just nodded at the audience said, "Greetings, friends."

Yuugi sighed and continued.

"We are here to make a public service announcement about…uh, the importance of using condoms! Yeah, that's it, condoms! It is really important that we use one whenever we are intimate, so there will be no accidents and stuff! Remember, guys, the BEST sex is SAFE Sex!"

* * *

Yami, who was totally clueless at this point, leaned over and asked Yuugi, "Aibou, what are these 'con-domes' you speak of?"

Yuugi, flushing, said "No, Yami they're pronounced CONDOMS. Here, see, here is what one looks like. You slide it over your…uh…down there."

(Yuugi was really turning red at this point)

"and when we are intimate, we will not catch anything. See?"

Yami was holding up the open condom in front of the camera and was looking at it as if he was studying it.

* * *

Now, witness the following dialogue between Yuugi and Yami. Please note that they have totally forgotten that there were people in the room:

**Aibou?**

_Yes, Yami?_

**On whose parts do we put this on again?**

_Either mine or yours._

**Why?**

_For protection_

**From what?**

_Diseases and pregnancy_

**Okay. Seeing that we are both males, pregnancy is not a problem that we have to worry about, unless there is something you wish to share with me**

_WHA-?! NO!! I am NOT a woman, Yami!_

**Well, then, there is no need for this, uh, mini-Ziploc Bag, now is it?**

_(sigh) Yami, that is a condom, not a Ziploc bag!_

**Oh.**

_Yeah, and besides, there are diseases that condoms can protect us from._

**Oh? Such as?**

_AIDS, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Herpes, HPV…you know, that stuff!_

**Ok. I understand**

_Now back to the commercial: "We use these condoms to protect us from-"_

**Yuugi, we do not use these!**

_(light blush) Heh-heh. Well, maybe not that brand of condoms, folks, but we do use-_

**YUUGI, WE DON'T USE THESE AT ALL! YOU KNOW THAT!!**

_(MAJOR blushing) Yami! People do NOT need to know that!_

**(to the audience) Folks, let me ask you all this: If you are doing a Ra-damned commercial, should you be honest?**

(Audience agrees)

**Well, how am I going to do a commercial for something that I never seen or heard about until this minute?!**

_Well, Yami, maybe we could try these at home then! That is a great idea. What do you say?_

**YUUGI MUTOU...THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY IN HELL I AM GOING TO SUFFOCATE _MY_ DICK WHTH _THIS_ SHIT! THAT IS INHUMANE!**

_(OO) Suffocate?!_

**It won't be able to breathe with that plastic shit on it!**

_Yami, it is not like it has lungs!_

**That con-dome is a miniature suffocation chamber! My dick will whither up and die! I will not allow that to happen to my shit…or yours!**

_Yami, I am asking you to try out the condom, when we, you know, do it. I am not asking you to drink poison or something!_

**Regardless, Yuugi! You are asking me to deprive a part of my anatomy of the precious oxygen it needs to live! How could you be so cruel?!**

_Yami, I am not asking you to put the condom over your head, you know!_

**No, just over my OTHER head!**

_)Loud sigh) You know what? Forget it! You DON'T have to try it on!_

**Promise?**

_I promise, you big baby!_

**I love you, Aibou!**

_I love you, too, my King!

* * *

_

Please also note that the following things had happened during this dialogue:

* * *

**Grandpa fainted**

**Pegasus is reviving him**

**Seto tries to run Mokuba out of the room**

**Mokuba refuses to go, saying it was getting good**

**Seth bribes Mokuba with sugar if he leaves**

**Mokuba finally leaves**

**Seto vows to kill Yami for corrupting his little brother**

**Seth whispered something in Seto's ear**

**Seto completely forgot to kill Yami**

**Joey and Tristan laughing their heads off**

**Ryou blushes madly**

**Bakura, horrorstruck after hearing Yami, never wants to SEE a condom EVER!**

**Malik feels sick listening to this**

**Marik plots to kill the Pharaoh for tainting his hikari**

**The girls cover Rebecca's ears and made gagging noises**

**The Director goes out, saying, "I need a good, hard drink after hearing that!"

* * *

**

What do you think of that, folks? Too racy? Too stupid? Too Gross? Needs to be deleted altogether?

Any more commercial suggestions, please?

PLEASE R/R!


	6. The Yamis and Shadi for Kaiba Corp!

Title: YGO Commercial Try-Outs

Rated:

Genre: Humor:

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL!

* * *

Chapter 7: Yami. Bakura, Marik, and Seth's Commercial For Kaiba Corp.

* * *

Seto walked up to the director, who was still there by some miracle.

"Director, we need to do a commercial for Kaiba Corp. I want to promote the use of the Duel Disk and other things that would keep Kaiba Corp #1!" said Seto.

The Director was willing to try it, but he said Seto needed to ask some of the cast to feature KC, seeing that the CEO doing it himself was unwise, in his opinion. Seto was about to ask Yuugi, Malik, Ryou, and Mokuba to do the commercial, but he found that the stage was already occupied…by the following persons:

The Pharaoh

The Tomb Robber

The Tomb Keeper (the psycho one)

The Priest

The Guardian of the Millennium Items (Shadi)

* * *

"What are you geeks doing up there on the stage? I want to have your hikaris doing my commercial with Mokuba!" yelled Seto.

"Well, honey", started Seth. "The Director said that you cannot shoot your own commercial. Seeing that you are MY hikari. It is only fair that the others here and I do the commercial for you! Who else had more experience from your KC technology but us?"

"OH, okay, fine whatever. Just don't make me go bankrupt or I will dig up all your carcasses and kill you all over again. UNDERSTAND?!" threatened Seto.

They all nodded.

Seto took his place in the audience next to Mokuba.

The Director was now ready to get the ball rolling.

"OKAY, QUIET ON THE SET PLEASE!" bellowed the Director. All was still and quiet.

"Kaiba Corp. commercial screen test-take one! ACTION!"

* * *

The following were the dialogue that was taking place. They totally forgot that they were doing a commercial:

Yami: Okay, you guys, what are doing again?

Bakura: Some lame ass shit for Kaiba!

Seth: Hello? That is my LOVER you are talking about. At least show some respect!

Shadi: Seriously, gentlemen, what kind of commercial is he trying to do?

Marik: Dunno…..don't give a damn!

Yami: We are supposed to talk about his dueling disks, or some shit like that!

Bakura: (Looking at his duel disk) What a joke!

Seth: I must agree with you. This only cheapens the real experience of dueling!

(Seto is starting to get pissed!)

Marik: Yeah. Back in ancient Egypt, we had the real deal, not this holographic crud!

Yami: For once, you made sense, Marik.

Marik: Screw you, Pharaoh!

Bakura: Yeah, and the duel monsters were real!

Shadi: So was the Shadow Realm. The Shadow games were terrible to behold.

Yami: Wait, you guys! I had a colossal idea!

Bakura: That must hurt, Yami…you coming up with anything that resembles a thought!

Yami: FUCK YOU! Now, gather around, my fellow Yamis, and I will tell you how we

can make this commercial more interesting.

Bakura: Interesting as in Kaiba will be the laughingstock of Domino City?

Yami: NO, you baka! Although we could do something like that later on.

Marik: Well…what are you waiting for? SPILL!

Shadi: You most definitely have my attention, My Pharaoh!

Seth: Alright, I want in, and if your pranks result in any way of me not getting any tonight, I WILL KILL YOU, GOT IT?!

Yami: Yeah, yeah, Seth…now we're gonna… (Yami started whispering, resulting in nods and "Oh, this is gonna be good" comments form the others.)

Seto: EX-CUSE ME, BASTARDS! WE DO NOT HAVE ALL DAY TO DO THIS! GET THE COMMERICAL ON THE ROAD ALREADY!

* * *

Meanwhile, in the audience: 

Yuugi: Joey, do you know what they're talking about?

Joey: No, Yuug', and to be honest with you, I'm better off NOT knowing!

Ryou: well, it couldn't be that bad.

Tristan: Oh, yes it could!

Serenity: Girls, what do you think is going on with the dark halves over there?

Mai: I dunno, hon', but I got a felling that Kaiba is in for a big surprise.

Tea: Yeah, and a bad one at that!

Rebecca: Ishizu, can you use your Millennium Necklace to see what is gonna happen?

Ishizu: Rebecca, sometimes the future must be experience and not foretold.

Malik: I am so scared right now.

Duke: Why, dude?

Malik: Because Marik is up there with them.

Grandpa: No worries, Mokuba. This commercial will be a great success.

Pegasus: Yes, that is so correct, Mokuba-boy. The Yamis won't do anything to Seto.

Mokuba: THAT'S not the reason I am worried. It is what Seto is gonna to do to THEM if they screw this commercial up!

* * *

Everything was ready. Everyone's attention was on the stage. Seto watch with frustration. The Director cued the Yamis. They were all dressed in their Ancient Egyptian attire and began.

* * *

Yami: Greetings, Duel Monster Enthusiasts. I am Yami, Pharaoh of Ancient Egypt... This is a commercial for Kaiba Corporation, ruled by Seto Kaiba. 

Bakura: I am Bakura, Tomb Thief.

Marik: I am Marik, Tomb Keeper

Seth: I am Seth, the Priest for Yami

Shadi: And I am Shadi, Guardian of the Millennium Items

Yami: We are here to talk about the games that Kaiba Corp. manufactures. These games are quite good and I will go out and buy, er buy, them, if I were you!

Bakura: Oh, come off it, Pharaoh. You know that these so-called games are pieces of shit to us, the originating game-masters.

Yami: You're right, Tomb Robber. They _are_ pieces of shit. (Turn to the camera) Kids, there are many wonderful uses for Kaiba Corp.'s games.

Marik: Yeah…like clean your ass…

Bakura: Blow your nose…

Shadi: Wipe your feet….

Seth: Or just bore yourselves to death. We should know, we ARE dead!

Shadi: If you want to know how Duel Monsters are REALLY played, then watch this….

* * *

Shadi holds up the Millennium Key (Ankh) and it shines. The Sennen Eye appears on his forehead. The same thing happens to Yami with the Millennium Puzzle; Bakura with the Millennium Ring; Seth with the Millennium Rod (he got it back form Marik); and Marik with the Millennium Scales (A/N: He just got it, ok?)

They started to say an Ancient Egyptian chant and suddenly, the studio was covered with purple and black clouds and Duel Monsters were coming out everywhere!

Dueling commenced and ended in a matter of seconds.

Mokuba was frightened;

Seto was beyond pissed;

Grandpa holding onto Pegasus for dear life;

Pegasus whispering soothing words to Solomon;

Tea, Mai. Serenity and Rebecca were holding onto each other crying;

Duke and Tristan ran out of the studio;

Joey followed them;

Yuugi, Ryou, Malik, and Ishizu were also pissed.

* * *

Yuugi: YAMI! Stop ruining Kaiba's commercial or you're going to catch plenty of hell from me!

RYOU: You, too, Bakura…or it's the COUCH for you!

Malik: MARIK! YOU ASSHOLE! STOP THIS SHIT OR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!

Seto: SETH! Either you stop that right now, or _**you**_ will be the one "_not getting any_" tonight!

Ishizu: SHADI! I am very disappointed in you! Stop this at once or _you will not get any for a month_!

Yuugi: Neither would you, Yami-BELIEVE THAT!

Ryou: Or you, Bakura! No more late night "_fun_" with me for a week if you do not cut the crap!

Malik: Oh, Marik, honey-if you stop doing that, I will put on that naughty slave-boy outfit you _love_ so much!

* * *

Upon hearing these things, the Yamis and Shadi stopped their playacting and redid the commercial for KC. Seto was satisfied, as were the others, until Yami, Bakura, and Marik just **_had_** to have the last word!

* * *

Holding up a videotapes and a DVD Yami proclaimed with smirk:

"If you order your KC Ultimate Duel Disks with Upgrade within the next hour, we will throw in the"Seto Kaiba: Up Close and WAY Too Personal" Video or DVD that Joey made."

Bakura added, "You get to be the few lucky ones to have your very own copy! I promise it is worth the money! BELIEVE US!"

Marik smiled and said, "Watch Seto Kaiba gives a whole new definition to the term 'self-love'".

Shadi was curious, He never was there during Joey's try-out for MasterCard.

Seth walked up and said, "That's right, folks, AND as an added bonus, you get to watch the great Seto Kaiba,..."

Now Yami, Bakura and Marik chorused, "... masturbate in his sleep!"

Yami added, "Compliments of Joey Wheeler Entertainment! Our lines are open now! Order your KC Ultimate Duel Disk Upgrades NOW!"

Bakura stated, "Although our supply of the videos and DVDs are limited, do not worry about that!"

Marik ended it with, "You can DUPLICATE these, so please feel free to makes copies for your friends, lovers, co-workers, costumers, clients, yada-yada. Hell, WE did! So, call NOW!"

* * *

Seto growls and jumps on the yamis on the stage. Seth pulls him off and drags him out of the studio.

The Director, Shadi, Seth, Ishizu, Tea, Pegasus, Grandpa, and Mai are already putting in orders for their copy of the video that is sure to embarrass the HELL out of the dignified Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corp.!

* * *

Well, here is another one! 

IS it ok?

I heard that the Yami and Yuugi one grossed some people out! SO SORRY!

Any more ideas? Suggestions?

Please R/R!

Thanks!


	7. Mokuba's Turn That POOR Baby!

Title: YGO Commercial Try-Outs

Rated:

Genre: Humor:

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL!

My grateful thanks to all who reviewed!

* * *

Chapter 8: Mokuba's Commercial Debut for Toys for Tots.

* * *

"You're up, Mokuba", said the Director.

Mokuba, along with a few children from Domino City, hopped up on the stage, where there were toys set up. These toys were to help promote the USMC's "Toys for Tots" drive.

Seto finally came back inside the studio, after he was totally humiliated by the following event:

(FLASHBACK)

Seto thought that his embarrassment over the "Seto Kaiba: Up Close and WAY Too Personal" video was introduced on the air was a thing of the past. Oh, how wrong he was.

All of a sudden, he was hearing girls shrieking and saw them pointing up towards the sky. He looked up and say a blimp flying low overhead with the following message:

"**IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO OWN YOU VERY OWN COPY OF "Seto Kaiba: UP CLOSE AND WAY TOO PERSONAL", PLEASE CALL 1800-OH-YES-YES!" HERE IS A PREVIEW OF WHAT YOU WILL BE VIEWING."**

He then saw himself on the video that was playing on the blimp. Girls and guys ran to the nearest phone calling in their orders! Seto hid his face and ran back into the studio.

(END FLASHBACK)

* * *

Seto settled back to watch his brother. He wanted to give his brother encouragement as Mokuba had done.

The parents for the children that were with Mokuba were also in the audience \.

So were Pegasus, Ishizu, Yuugi, Ryou, Malik, Rebecca, Tea, and Tristan.

Yami, Marik, Bakura, Shadi, Duke, and Grandpa were missing in action.

At first, everyone thought they would be back soon, but when the commercial started, they became worried.

"Okay, QUIET ON THE SET!" yelled the Director.

"Mokuba's Screen Test-Take one. ACTION"

* * *

Mokuba looked at the camera and smiled.

"I'm Mokuba Kaiba and on behalf of Toys for Tots, we would like to thank you for all your support, Now…"

Mokuba was interrupted by a man running to the Director.

"Somebody, call 911!"

Seto, pissed that his brother's screen test was ruined, yelled, "WHAT is the meaning of this?!"

"We've been robbed! Domino's World of Sweets was robbed!"

Yuugi was concerned. "How much money did they take?"

Then man scratched his head. "That's the thing. They didn't take any money at all. They took ALL THE CANDIES WE HAD! The trail led to this studio!"

Everyone was dead-quiet for a second.

Seto then yelled, "MOKUBA! You guys hurry and shoot that damned commercial NOW before they fuck everything up!"

Mokuba quickly nodded.

The Director gave the go-ahead.

Mokuba began, "My name is Mokuba Kaiba and on behalf of all us kids here, we thank you for contributing the Toys for Tots Drive, sponsored by the US Marines."

All the children waved and yelled, "Thank You. We Love You!"

Mokuba continued, "This was put together for kids like us to have a Merry Christmas that would have been otherwise-"

Mokuba was cut off when he heard maniacal laughter in the background.

* * *

Suddenly, everyone heard someone yelled, "WACKY-DOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" 

Four crazy yamis, two demented humans, and one guardian of the Millennium Items were storming the stage, with candy wrappers handing form their hair and clothes; they also had candies handing from their mouths!

* * *

The following things took place:

**Yami was riding on the stage in a Power Wheels Mustang yelling "WACKY-DOOOOOO!!!!!"**

**Bakura was setting Barbie Dolls on fire using a blowtorch**

**Seth was chasing the poor children with the Millennium Rod**

**Marik was dressed in the cheerleader outfit from earlier, was doing splits, and landed hard on his…uh…parts (OUCH!)**

**Duke was dressed in a "My Life-Sized Barbie" Ballerina Dress and was wearing Barbie makeup, earrings, necklace and slippers. He was singing, "I'm too Sexy"**

**Grandpa was trying to ride the Big Wheels, but it fell apart. He sat there crying like a baby**

**Bakura blew up an Easy-Bake Oven after sticking a fork in it**

**Shadi took his turban apart and started skipping rope with it. **

**The kids ran screaming to their parents, who in turn ran out of the studio**

**Mokuba ran to Seto screaming, "Make them STOP!"**

**The Director was laughing his ass off as he was filming this**

**Seth was skating across the stage when he lost his balance and fell on his ass.**

**Shadi stripped off all his clothes, and was singing "SHAKE. SHAKE, SHAKE! SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE!...SHAKE YOUR BOOTY!" and was shaking his ass in front of the audience.**

**Yami sent an XBOX to the Shadow Realm when he lost the game he was playing**

**Grandpa was still sitting on the floor crying**

**Duke was raising up his ballerina dress to shake his ass with Shadi!

* * *

**

**Now, all hell broke loose on the set. **

**Seto was comforting Mokuba while glaring at the free-for-all onstage. **

**Tea, Rebecca, Joey, Serenity and Mai ran out of the building to get help. **

**The following exchange was taking place: **

**Yuugi: YAMI! THAT…IS…IT! YOU WIL _NOT_ BE "GETTING _ANYHING_" FOR A MONTH!**

**Yami: (Sent an Nintendo 64 to the Shadow Realm after losing Street Fighter) B-b-b-but…Yuugi! I was having fun!**

**Yuugi: YOU RUINED MOKUBA'S COMMERCIAL! NOW APOLOGIZE!**

**Yami: (sugar high wearing off) I am so sorry, Aibou. The sugar got to me! (turning to Mokuba) I am so sorry, Mokuba. Please forgive me!**

**Mokuba: (leaving Seto's arms) I forgive you, Yami. You didn't mean to do anything bad.**

**Ryou: BAKURA!!!**

**Bakura: (still setting the PlayStation on fire and blowing up Kaiba's Duel Discs) WHAT?!**

**Ryou: Stop this or no sex for a month! I hope you will take to pleasuring yourself because I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING ELSE WITH YOU FOR PULLING THIS SHIT!**

**Bakura: (coming down from his sugar high) OK! OK! I stopped! Happy?!**

**Ryou: MUCH! Now…go apologize to Mokuba. You ruined his debut!**

**Bakura: Yeah, yeah….look, squirt…sorry about that!**

**Mokuba: Do you really mean that, Bakura?**

**Bakura: Not really, but it sounded good, didn't it?**

**Ryou: (whacked Bakura on the back of his head) BAKURA!**

**Bakura: OK! I meant the apology, Mokuba. I was out of line.**

**Mokuba: Yes, you were, but I forgive you! (hugs Bakura)**

**Malik: MARIK ISHTAR! CUT THE BULLSHIT AND GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW!!!!**

**Marik: (Trying to squeeze into a Tonka Truck) Don't wanna!**

**Malik: Marik, honey….if you stop and apologize to Mokuba for wrecking his commercial, I will give you the Malik Sexual Special!**

**Marik: (sugar-high gone): Y-y-y-you mean….that I can get it…**

**Malik: Anyway you want it? Sure! BUT you must come down and apologize to Mokuba.**

**Marik: SOSORRYBRATLET'SGOMALIKBYEEVERYBODY (Translation: "So sorry, Brat. Let's go Malik, Bye everybody!)**

**Tristan: Duke, come on, man. Take off the dress. You look ridiculous in that!**

**Duke: (still sugar-high) NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!**

**Tristan: PLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE?????!!!**

**Duke: NO!**

**Tristan (tearing up): Not even for me, Dukey-baby?**

**Duke: (sugar high gone) What is in it for me?**

**(Tristan whispers in Duke's ear. Duke got a wide grin on his face)**

**Duke: DEAL! (jumps off stage)**

**Tristan: Are you forgetting something?**

**Duke: Oh…yeah. Sorry, sport! Won't happen again. Come ON, Tristan, you Promised!**

**(Tristan and Duke head to the hotel room)**

**Ishizu: SHADI! I am most disappointed. How shameful. Stop that at once.**

**Shadi: (Skating belly-down on a skateboard) If I don't…?**

**Ishizu: NO MORE SEX….EVER!**

**Shadi: PLEASE, MY LOVE…..ANYTHING BUT THAAAAAT!**

**Ishizu: You know what you are to do. (points to Mokuba)**

**Shadi: (bowing) My apologies, young one. I will behave better from now on.**

**Mokuba: Thanks, Shadi!**

**Pegasus: Oh, come now, Solomon. That is quite enough! I need you to get off the floor so I could wipe your face, ok?**

**Grandpa: (Wearing a Dark Magician Outfit...or trying to) I DON'T WANNA!**

**Pegasus: Please?**

**Grandpa: WHY SHOULD I?!**

**Pegasus: Well, who else I would rather play Funny Bunny with but you?**

**Grandpa: (smiling) We can play that today?!**

**Pegasus: Of course. AFTER you apologize to little Mokuba.**

**Grandpa: Agreed. (turns to Mokuba) So sorry, little one!

* * *

**

**Seto now is looking to pay the following expenses:**

**Replacement Toys for the Drive**

**Therapy bills for the children and parents**

**Repairs to the studio**

**Anything else that will come up later

* * *

Well...the next one up for a commerical would be Mai, Tea, Reebcca, Ishizu, and Serenity on feminine products? **

Should the yamis raise hell in that one?

Or should they just plain behave themselves for one?

Your choice!

Please R/R!


	8. Ishizu's Turn

Title: YGO Commercial Try-Outs

Genre: Humor

Rated: M

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN CPOYRIGHTED MATERIAL!

* * *

This time, Ishizu is trying out for a commercial for The Psychic Friends Network. As a precaution, Yami, Bakura, Seth, and Marik were all bound and gagged next to their hikaris. However, they were allowed to see the commercial audition, nothing else. Pegasus decided to keep Solomon unbound. They were sharing a glass of wine as they looked on. 

The Director, after getting over a hangover from the previous tryouts, was getting ready for the shoot.

He had a telephone bank set up to take calls.

Ishizu asked Yuugi, Ryou, Malik, Joey, Tea, Rebecca, Mai, Serenity, Tristan, Duke and Mokuba to join her in manning the phone lines.

They agreed and took their places. Pegasus decided to join them, figuring it was safe to leave Solomon unattended (A/N: You fool! BAD IDEA!)

Seto, deciding against his better judgment, decided to join the gang onstage, leaving Seth alone (which is even worse).

"QUIET!" yelled the Director. All was quiet.

"Ishizu's Screen Test-take one. ACTION!"

* * *

Ishizu looked and smiled. 

"Greetings to you, my honored guests. This is Madame Isis of The Psychic Friends Network. I can foretell your future. However, you must call for me to do so."

While Ishizu was going on and on about the ability of her psychic network, the yamis and hikaris are having the following conversation via mind-links:

* * *

Yami: Yuugi, please let me be of assistance to you during this commercial. 

Yuugi: No, Yami. Having Shadi bind you and the others is the only way to make certain that you cause no more chaos.

Yami: Oh, Yuuuuuuuuuuuggggiiiii……if you let me out of these restraints, I can make it worth your while. You can even play any games you wish.

Yuugi: (smiling) Not gonna work, Yami.

Yami: Damn!

* * *

Bakura: Ryou! Get me out of this Ra-damned thing! 

Ryou: I am so sorry, 'Kura, but you will have to stay put. You caused enough embarrassment.

Bakura: You will PAY for defying me!

Ryou: Yeas, yes…..I heard it all before! I can recite it back to you if you would like!

Bakura: growling

* * *

Marik: Oh, Hikari-pretty! 

Malik: Uh-uh.

Marik: but-

Malik: Nope.

* * *

Seth: My love, would you please be so kind as to free me? 

Seto: No.

Seth: Please?

Seto: No.

Seth: I can give you-

Seto: NO! NO! NO! and in case you didn't get that….HELL NO!

Seth: You meanie!

Seto: Whatever.

* * *

Suddenly, there appeared the past incarnation of Solomon, Shimon. He came to visit Solomon after not seeing him in years. He came into the studio and sat next to Solomon. After they chatted for a few minutes, Shimon asked Solomon of he would like anything before he left. Solomon looked at the pitiful looks on the yamis' faces. HE asked Shimon to free them, seeing that he himself did not have Shadow Magic. Shimon concentrated his shadow powers and the shadow bindings were gone. He then disappeared.

* * *

Solomon did NOT want to see the insanity that would surely come, so he called Pegasus from the stage. 

Solomon: Pegasus, I have something for you!

Pegasus: Really, love? What is it?

(Solomon showed him the Viagra from his commercial earlier)

Pegasus: (with lust-filled eyes-or eye) Well…what are we waiting for? LET'S GO!

Solomon: Oh, after YOU, love. (holds open the door for Pegasus)

Pegasus: Such a gentleman, Solomon.

Solomon: (with lust filling his voice) Let's see if you will say that later on.

Pegasus: Oooh, goodie!

(Pegasus and Solomon are gone)

* * *

The Yamis are free to do as they please (oh my God!). Yami decided that the hikaris needed to be taught what it means to deny them. The other yamis agreed at once. They decided to use their lovers' cell phones to accomplish this task. Seth went to get Shadi to join in as well. At first, Shadi refused, but when he was promised sugar in return, he happily complies. 

The plan was set in place. Yami used his powers to jam Ishizu's necklace, so she would now know what is getting ready to happen. The others are using their powers to commit all sorts of embarrassment. Take a look:

* * *

Ishizu: Thank you to all who have called in. For your FREE reading, please call the number on your screen. We will take calls over the air. You will be put on loudspeaker, so please use discretion. Thank you. Yuugi, do we have any calls? 

Yuugi: Ishizu, we have a call from an unknown number, so I assume it is from a pay or cell phone.

Ishizu: Yes, caller, this is Madame Ishizu…what do you wish to know?

Caller: If you are the 'psychic', then **_YOU TELL ME_** WHAT I WISH TO KNOW!

Ishizu: Huh?

Caller: Ok, ok…I want to know how I can get that bastard Seto Kaiba to give me all his dough. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ryou: BAKURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Yuugi: How did he get out?

Malik: If BAKURA is free, that means….oh shit!

Seto: **_All_** of them are free!

Joey: Damn! (Runs form the studio)

Caller: Ishizu, what are the chances of me finally defeating that Pharaoh no baka-OUCH! Yami, that hurts!

Seto: Ishizu, tell me what the chances of my kicking Marik's ass are?

Yami: (Over the loudspeaker) The same chance you have of somebody pulling that telephone pole some would call a stick out of YOUR ass, Kaiba!

Seto: WHERE ARE YOU, YAMI, SO I CAN KICK YOUR ANCIENT ASS?!

* * *

Yami and the others walked out onto the stage and sat in chairs next to their hikaris. 

Shadi was passing out coffee loaded with cream, caffeine and SUGAR! In seconds all the yamis were sugar high and were on the telephones.

* * *

Yami: (giggling) This is the Pharaoh. What is your question, peasant? 

Caller: I-I-I was wondering what the chances of my finding the right husband were.

Yami: The same chances Kaiba has in defeating me in a duel-NOT A CHANCE IN HELL! Have a good day!

Yuugi: YAMI! That was mean! How could you?!

* * *

Bakura: Thank you for calling this time wasting telethon! My name is Bakura and I would be your fortune-seller….un, teller for this call. What do you want to know? 

Caller: Sir, do you see any money in my future?

Bakura: Not really, but if I keep you on the line for another 90 minutes, at the wonderful price of $150.99 per minute, I definitely see money in **MY** future!

Caller: (hangs up)

Ryou: BAKURA! BAD, BAD BAKURA! BAD! You should be ashamed of yourself!

* * *

Marik: What in the hell do you want, you waste of time and flesh? 

Malik: STOP THAT, MARIK!

Caller: W-w-w-well, s-s-sir. I just wanna know-

Marik: GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!

Caller: Will I live a long life?

Marik: NOT IF I HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Malik: MARIK!!!!! (kicking him)

* * *

Seth: You have reached Ishizu's Psycho-line. This is High Priest Seth, What is your question? 

Seto: PSYCHIC, not psycho, you baka! Get it right at least!

Seto: (to Seto) Well, pardon the hell out of me then! (back to the Caller) What the hell is your question?!

Caller: I was wondering what kind of work I am best suited for?

Seth: Hooker

Seto: SETH! (whakcs him)

Mokuba: That was really mean of you, Brother Seth!

Seth: What? He asked!

Caller: HOOKER? I AM A MAN, I WOULD HAVE YOU KNOW!

Seth: Oh, sorry about that, good sir.

Caller: That is better.

Seth: How about a MALE HOOKER?

(Again Seto whacks Seth on the head)

Seth: OW! RA-DAMNIT!

Mokuba: (to caller) Please excuse him, sir. He's new here. Heh-heh.

Caller: Apology accepted, young man.

Seth: I did NOT apologize and I WILL not do so for telling you the truth. You called here for that, right?! Now, let me asked YOU a question, prospective male hooker.

Seto: I'm warning you, Seth!

Mokuba: Seth, Nooooo!

Seth: (smirking) How good can you give a blo-(Seto grabs Seth and covers Seth's mouth)

Seto: Seth...THAT IS IT!

Caller: Well! I never…

Seth: (free of Seto's grip) ...and I do not blame them, you wuss! Good day! (hangs up)

* * *

Shadi: This is Shadi. How may I help you? 

Caller: Will I have any more kids?

Shadi: Do you work?

Caller: No. I am a homemaker.

Shadi: Do you have ANY income?

Caller: No, but I will look for a job soon.

Shadi: HELL NO! I WILL NOT WASTE ANY MORE OF MY TAX DOLLARS ON PEOPLE LIKE YOU!

Caller: (cries)

Ishizu: (Whacking Shadi) BASTARD, **_YOU_** DON'T EVEN WORK!

Shadi: Yes, I do.

Ishizu: Doing what?

Shadi: Anything you want, my love.

Ishizu (sighs) What do I pay you…NOTHING!

Shadi: With SEX!

(Ishizu storms off the stage. The girls go to comfort her.)

* * *

Shadi: Come on, Ishizu, I WAS ONLY KIDDING, BABY! 

Ishizu: YOU'RE ON THE SOFA TONIGHT, YOU BASTARD!

Shadi: But-but-but-

Mai: How can you be so insensitive, Shadi? You really crossed the line.

Rebecca: You are so stupid! You hurt her feelings!

Tea: That's right. Shadi. You ruined her commercial, but I know you had help.(looking at the yamis)

Serenity: Those yamis ruin everything when they're sugar-high like that.

Joey: Don't forget caffeine-high too.

* * *

Duke: You need to apologize to her, Shadi. 

Tristan: Yeah, man.

Shadi: OK, I'll go. (walks backstage to where Ishizu was crying her eyes out)

Shadi: My love?

Ishizu: Go away.

Shadi: I am so sorry for the trouble I have caused you. It was inexcusable.

Ishizu: Thank you, Shadi. I forgive you.

Shadi: Do I still have to sleep on the couch?

Ishizu: No, my love.

Shadi: Thank you. I will leave you to yourself and finish up your commercial properly.

Ishizu: Thanks.

Shadi: You are most welcome.

* * *

When Shadi went back onstage, he found that the yamis were ending the commercial for him.

* * *

Yami: That is all the time we have today. Join us next time, if there is one. 

Bakura: Remember you can call the hot line anytime you wish. The number is 1-866-A-RIP-OFF.

Ryou: (hits Bakura) YOU BAKA!

Marik: No, Bakura, the REAL number to this psycho helpline is 1-877-FUCK-OFF!

Malik: (kicks Marik) You are as bad as Bakura!

Seth: Operators are standing by…I think.

Seto: (shaking his head) Shut your ass up, Seth! You know nothing, do you?

Seth: I recall knowing how to get you to scream my name, now didn't I?

(Seto blushing like mad)

Mokuba: DIRECTOR! PLEASE END THIS COMMERICAL NOW!

Director: CUT! DAMNIT! CUT! THAT WAS TERRIBLE!

Yamis: THANKS!

* * *

Well, here is another one for your pleaseure. 

Hway do you all think?

Too gross?

Too lame?

Too Boring?

I am open for all suggestions!

Please R/R!

* * *


	9. Tea's Turn

Title: YGO Commercial Try-Outs

Genre: Humor

Rated: M

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN CPOYRIGHTED MATERIAL!

* * *

MY THANKS TO ALL WHO REVIEWED! YOU ARE APPRECIATED!

* * *

"The next one up for a public service announcement is…TEA! Tea, please some to the stage." Said the Director. Tea blithely went to take her place.

"OKAY! QUIET, PLEASE!" yelled the Director. Everyone hushed up. "Tea's Screen Test Take One-ACTION!"

* * *

The screen read: THE FOLLOWING IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!

* * *

Tea put on a cheesy smile and started.

"HEY, EVERYBODY! My name is Tea and I am here to make a public service announcement on my favorite subject…."

Joey was praying in the audience, "Please not about friendship! Oh, please not about friendship!"

"FRIENDSHIP!" yelled Tea!

"DAMN!" yelled Joey, Yuugi, Ryou, Malik and Seto at the same time.

"She would do that crap", said Mai, shaking her head.

"Now, be nice, you guys", said Seth, defending Tea. "I am sure it is not that bad."

"No, Seth, it's only 10,000 times WORSE!" exclaimed Seto.

Yami, Marik, Shadi, Bakura and even Odion were muttering strings of Egyptian curses.

* * *

Tea continued, "We all need friends to do friendly things with. You know, going to the mall is no fun without friends. You need friends when your boyfriend dumps you for another woman or when you have a major test to take; you need friends to chat with afterwards to vent your frustrations. We need to hold hands and sing "Kum-Ba-Ya". It is a neat song to sing with your friends and all. I also recommend singing "Blowing in the Wind". That song is great to sing with friends. You also need friends to sleep over at your house, so you can talk about boys, clothes, and stuff. Friends will stick with you no matter what. Friendship is the best! A big "HOORAY" for the F-word….FRIENDSHIP!"

* * *

Please note that the following were taking place during this screen test:

* * *

Seto yelling at Tea to "cut the bullshit about befriending losers"

Mokuba ran to hug Tea, He loves her speeches (A/N: That poor baby doesn't know any better!)

Seth thought he was gonna be sick after all that friendship ranting

Joey dozed off in the corner

So did Tristan and Duke

Pegasus and Solomon ran out the door

Yuugi was playing dominoes with Yami

Yami yelled "shut the fuck up" to Tea in Egyptian

Ryou was reading a novel while listening to music (with headphones on)

Bakura yelled "enough of the friend-shit rant already" in Egyptian

Malik was humming a tune to block out Tea's friendship speech

Marik yelled "go to hell, friendship-preaching bitch, and take all those Ra-damned friendshit rants with you" in Egyptian

Odion was writing a letter to his Congressperson concerning "Tea's contributing to noise pollution"

Ishizu, Mai, Serenity, and Rebecca were text-messaging each other

Shadi was saying a mother-load of Egyptian curses

The Director was debating whether to jump out of the window to get away from Tea's speech

* * *

Note: I somewhat like Tea, But I CANNOT tolerate those annoying "friendship Speeches"! 

So Sorry, Tea fans!

* * *

ANY Suggestions?! 

Please R/R!

Thanks!


	10. Pegasus' TurnOH GOD!

Title: YGO Commercial Try-Outs

Genre: Humor

Rated: M

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN CPOYRIGHTED MATERIAL!

* * *

MY THANKS TO ALL WHO REVIEWED!

* * *

Next: PEGASUS!

* * *

"Mr. Pegasus, sir.you're up next" said Croquet, his head goon or whatever.

"Thank you, my dear friend" Pegasus said smoothly as he made his way to the stage, dressed in his pink Funny Bunny bathrobe.

He sits on the bed that is provided on the stage. Then, he lies upon it in a sexual fashion.

"Are you ready, Pegasus?" asked the Director.

"Oh most definitely" assured Pegasus as he winked at Solomon as well as blew him a kiss.

"If this is another sick-assed Viagra commercial, I'm outta here" said Seto, looking disgusted.

* * *

"OKAY! QUIET, PLEASE!" yelled the Director. Everyone hushed up again. "Pegasus' Screen Test Take One-ACTION!"

* * *

Pegasus smiled an alluring smile and began his bit.

"Well, I would like to say hello to all you lovers out there in TV Land. I am Pegasus, but you can call me 'Big Sexy'. I am here to advertise my favorite line of clothing that I feel that you will find most…ah…most…hummm. What is the word I am looking for here?"

* * *

The following suggestions came from the audience:

Yuugi: Uh…"Scary"?

Yami: No, that is not it, Aibou; it is more like "Disgusting".

Ryou: How about "Distasteful?"

Bakura: Well, if HE is modeling them, I would suggest "Traumatizing".

Malik: No, you baka. He means "Frightful"

Marik: Or it could be "Morbid"

Mai: Or "Terrible"

Tea: I think he may mean "Nauseating"

Ishizu: No, Tea, I think it is more like "Repulsive"

Rebecca: I believe that the scientific term would be "Dyspeptic (A/N: Medical term for "stomach upsetting")"

Serenity: Or it could be "Repulsive"

Joey: How about "Filthy"?

Tristan: Or "Offensive".

Duke: "Illegal" is another suggestion

Seth: I would think…"Horrendous" would fit.

Seto: That, and there is always "felonious"

Mokuba: What is that, Seto?

Seto: "Felonious" is a term for "it should be a crime".

Mokuba: Oh. OK Well, how about "Gross"?

Shadi: I prefer the term "vile" myself.

Odion: Would "appalling" suit this commercial?

Solomon: I got it! How about…EROTIC?

Everyone: Eewwwww!

Pegasus: Thanks, love!

* * *

Pegasus resumed his script. "Now then, I find these most erotic, and so would my lover. Allow me to show you my sexy underwear." Pegasus the takes off his robe and shows off his….**_VICTORIA'S SECRET PINK-LACED THONGS!_**

**__**

Pegasus kept going (as if THAT wasn't bad enough!)

"You see. _This_ little number is called "the angel collection" and I see why women love wearing this. If feels so soft to be so revealing. As you can see these are sexy. It shows off my curves...and other things. However, if I were to wear the_ back_ side of them in the **_front_**…it will look even MORE alluring as well as make a handy little plot twister!" He then wears the back part of the thongs in the --ahem--front oh his body…showing off his...uh, parts.

* * *

The following this took place:

Solomon jumped Pegasus onstage and made out with him (OO)

Pegasus removed the thongs, thus being completely naked ( . Eewww!)

Seto immediately drags poor Mokie outta the room

Mokie crying to Seto, "Big Brother! My eyes hurt! AAAAHHHH!"

Seth was choking, claiming he can't breathe in the studio

Seto was feeling sick to his stomach (-.-)

Joey, Tristan and Duke threw up on the floor

The girls screamed when Pegasus threw the thongs into the audience

Yuugi fainted

Yami screams that he has gone blind

Shadi screams, "the panties are now tainted! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Ryou turns deathly pale

Bakura is trying to gouge his eyes out

Malik screams about blood running out of his eyes

Marik is trying to stop a bad nosebleed

Ishizu muttered something like, "damn! I should have seen this one coming!"

The hikaris were scarred for life

The yamis used shadow magic to send the tainted thongs to the shadow realm

The dark magician appeared and threw those panties back at them, yelling something like, "don't EVER give us this shit again!" then disappears

Odion lights a fire and the possessed undergarment is destroyed

The director was running to the nearest shrink

* * *

So what do you folk think about that one?

I think the next one would be Tristan and Duke.

ANY Suggestions?

As Always, PLEASE R/R!

THANKS!


	11. Tristan and Duke's Turn

Title: YGO Commercial Try-Outs

Genre: Humor

Rated: M

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL!

* * *

THANK YOU ALL WHO REVIEWED!

* * *

"Come on , Tristan and Duke. You're up!", said the Director.

Tristan and Duke were walking up to the stage, They were called to audition for an insurance commercial for GEICO.

"Are you ready to do this, D?" asked Tristan as he sat down at the desk.

"Ready when you are, T:, said Duke as he sat next to him.

"Ready, guys?", asked the Director. They both nodded.

"QUIET, PLEASE!" yelled the Director. Everyone shut up on the spot.. "Tristan and Duke's Screen Test Take One-ACTION!"

* * *

Tristan looked at the camera and began.

"You know, when you are in need of car insurance, you may want to consider GEICO. You can save up to 15 or MORE!"

Duke spoke:

"That is right, Tristan. You know, people say that getting insurance should not be sucha hassle…and they are RIGHT! So, in response to that, you can now get your insurance on the Internet. That is what I call easy!"

Tristan: "Yes, it is So easy, that a three-year-old can do it!"

Duke: So, that is RIGHT up your alley, ain't it, Tristan? Seeing that you can't comprehend anything above preschool level, this should be perfect for you!

Tristan: Y-y-you are…are SO MEAN! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

* * *

The following things are taking place:

**Tristan runs off the stage**

**Duke ran off after him**

**Yuugi berating Duke for "being a big meanie"**

**Yami told Duke to "apologize this minute or suffer dire consequences"**

**Ryou went to comfort Tristan**

**Bakura lights Dukes hair on fire for being mean to Tristan**

**Malik puts the fire out, and then tell Duke to "do the right thing and tell Tristan that he was sorry"**

**Marik threatened to blackmail Duke with photos of him in "compromising positions" with underage girls if he did not apologize (actually, Marik made up the photos with help from the internet)**

**Seto blackmailed him with buying out all the shares of the DDM and then making him go bankrupt**

**Seth threatened to send him to the Shadow Realm**

**Mokuba begged Seto and Seth not to do that**

**Pegasus was laughing his head off**

**Solomon was laughing too**

**The Director gave up**

**Relenting, Duke apologizes to Tristan**

**Tristan did not believe him at first**

**Duke kisses him**

**Now, Tristan believes him**

**They decided no quit the commercial and went home

* * *

**

So what do you folk think about that one?

I know that it is a little lame, but I will do better in the next one, I promise!

I think the next one would be Seth.

ANY Suggestions?

As Always, PLEASE R/R!

THANKS!


	12. Seth and Company Oh the Horror!

Title: YGO Commercial Try-Outs

Genre: Humor

Rated: M

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL!

* * *

MY THANKS TO ALL MY REVIEWERS!

* * *

"Will Seth please come to the stage for his screen test for Capital One Credit Card?" shouted the Director. Seto came trotting to the stage. 

"Are you ready, Seth?" asked the Director.

"I am. However, I would like the assistance of the Pharaoh, the Tomb Robber, The Psychotic Tomb Keeper, my love's adopted brother and the Guardian of the Millennium Items."

So Yami, Bakura, Marik, Odion and Shadi came to the stage.

"Are you ready, guys?" asked the Director. They all nodded.

* * *

The following were taking place via the mind-link:

* * *

**_Yuugi: Yami?_**

**_Yami: Yes, Aibou?_**

**_Yuugi: Do NOT screw this up, ok?_**

**_Yami: I thought you knew me better than that, Yuugi._**

**_Yuugi: (sighs) I do know you…that is why I am telling you NO!_**

**_Yami: Ok, Yuugi. I promise to behave…kind of._**

**_Yuugi: YAMI!_**

**_(Yami closes the mind-link)

* * *

_**

**_Ryou: Bakura?_**

**_Bakura: Yes, my angel?_**

**_Ryou: No._**

**_Bakura: No…what?_**

**_Ryou: No monkeyshine of any sort._**

**_Bakura: Wha-? WHY NOT?!_**

**_Ryou: Because this is not YOUR commercial! It's Seth's. Please be courteous._**

**_Bakura: Yeah, yeah.._**

**_Ryou: Do you promise?_**

**_Bakura: Of course…NOT!_**

**_Ryou: Bakura! I'm warning yo-(Bakura shut off mind-link)

* * *

_**

**_Malik: Marik? Dearest?_**

**_Marik: Yes, Hikari-pretty?_**

**_Malik: NO BULLSHIT TODAY…GOT IT?!_**

**_Marik: Awwww…._**

**_Malik: I MEAN THAT!_**

**_Marik: Whatever._**

**_(Marik shuts off mind-link)

* * *

_**

**_(Ishizu and Shadi were conversing via Millennium Items)_**

**_Ishizu: Shadi. I wish for you to behave yourself to day. Tell Odion I said the same goes for him as well._**

**_Shadi: As you wish, beloved._**

**_Ishizu: Thank you, my love._**

**_(Ishizu shuts off communication)

* * *

_**

**_Seto: Seth, I am WARNING you…NO CRAP OF ANY KIND TODAY! NONE! NEIN! NADA! ZIP!_**

**_Seth: Sure, Seto-baby!_**

**_Seto: I mean that, Seth!_**

**_Seth: Ok!_**

**_(Seto closes off mind-link)

* * *

_**

(Now, the Yamis are communicating via Millennium Items)

* * *

**Yami: So, Seth, why did you call us here?**

**Seth: I need your help for this commercial.**

**Bakura: Help you how, Priest?**

**(Seth starts telling them what he wants them to do. The yamis all started laughing. No, not the innocent "hee-hee-hee" laughter. It was more like "MWAHAHAHAHAHA!")

* * *

**

Yuugi: (OO) I do NOT like that laugh.

Ryou: (OO) Me neither, Yuugi. That only means one thing…

Malik: (OO) THEY ARE **_SO_** PLOTTING SOMETHING!

Ishizu: (OO) I agree, my brother. This is most terrifying.

Seto: (OO) I guess we have to let it play out and see what happens. If Seth fucks this up with his bullshit, he is _**SO**_ sleeping in the guest room when we get home!

Yuugi: Yami will be on the _**couch**_ tonight if he acts up!

Ryou: Bakura will be sleeping **_out in the backyard_** if he does anything wrong.

Malik: Any bullshit from Marik and I will find a way to **_seal his demented ass up in a Millennium ANYTHING until the end of freaking time!_**

Ishizu: **_You all can bet that Odion will sleep in the bathtub and Shadi will sleep out in the CAR if anything goes amiss!

* * *

_**

"ARE Y'ALL READY YET?!" screams the Director. They all nodded again.

"Okay…QUIET!" all was silent yet again. "Seth's Screen Test Take One-ACTION!"

* * *

The yamis with Odion decided to do this commercial…by IMITATING THEIR HIKARIS!

* * *

Odion played a waiter that brought them their food. They yamis were eating, or acting like it, and later Odion returned to give them the check. Seth gave them a credit card. The following scene played out:

* * *

Yami: (imitating Yuugi) Gee, thank you, Kaiba, for treating us to lunch today. I feel that we can be friends. 

Seth: (imitating Seto) Yeah, yeah, shut it, runt! I came to the conclusion that I really suck at dueling and admit you're king of games. Please excuse me. (He gets up to leave when he is stopped by Yami.)

_**(Seto was getting pissed)**_

Yami: (Yuugi) No, Kaiba. It is **YOU** that should be king of games. I say that because at least _you can duel on your own_. I can't do _shit_ without Yami. Oh yeah, the 'heart of the cards' is for losers!

**_(Yuugi was getting pissed now)_**

Bakura: (imitating Ryou) Well, I thank you for being my friend, Yuugi, even though I don't do shit to help you in a duel or even save my own ass in the show.

_**(Ryou was turning red with rage)**_

Marik: (imitating Malik) Well, thank you for not sending my ass to the Shadow Realm, Yuugi. Although I could have sent you there. Oh, who in the hell am I kidding?! Without that Rod, I AIN'T SHIT!

**_(Malik was ready to kill)_**

Shadi: (turban was off and hair down to imitate Ishizu) My friends, you do realize that the world was never in danger, right?

Marik: (Malik) Why is that, Sister?

Shadi: (Ishizu) I do not know, but it sounded good, didn't it? This Ra-damned necklace can't do shit for me. Otherwise, I would have gotten the lottery numbers I needed to win and get my clueless ass off the damned show.Ra, my life sucks!

_**(Ishizu was plotting Shadi's death)**_

(Seth/Seto was back)

Yami: (Yuugi) Where were you, Kaiba? I was worried about you, since we are friends and friends worry about each other. I know, it came from one of Tea's lame, tired-ass friendship rants, but just go with it, ok?

**_(Tea was pissed and stormed out of the studio)_**

Seth: (Seto) No need to worry, Yuugi. I just had to go to the men's room to see about finally getting that stick out of my ass, that's all.

**_(Mokuba bursts out laughing and Seto growls)

* * *

_**

(Odion returns to the table)

Odion: Mr. Kaiba, I am afraid that your card was…DECLINED!

Seth: (Seto) WHAT THE HELL?! I DEMAND THAT YOU RUN THAT CARD THROUGH AGAIN! I AM A BILLIONAIRE, DAMNIT!

Odion: Sir, YOUR CARD WAS NO GOOD! Now...**WHO IS PAYING FOR THIS SHIT**?!

Bakura: (Ryou) OH GREAT SHIT- I MEAN, GREAT SCOTT! WHATEVER WE ARE GONNA DO, YUUGI?!

Yami (Yuugi) I AM SCARED, KAIBA! WE ARE **_SO _**GOING TO JAIL! WE TRUSTED YOU AND LOOK AT THIS SHIT YOU DID TO US! WHY DID YOU NOT USE THE CAPITAL ONE CREDIT CARD TO …UH, WHATEVER THEY SAY TO DO ON TV?!

Seth: (Seto) HELLO? I WAS GETTING A STICK OUTTA MY ASS, REMEMBER?!

Marik: (Malik) I will pay for everyone here, No need to worry. (pulls out yellow, blue and gray bills)

Yami: (Yuugi) Uh, Malik? Monopoly money is no good here!

Marik: (Malik) DAMN!

Seth: (Seto) Oh, ok! I know how we can pay for this.

Everyone: HOW?

(Seth whips out the Millennium Rod and pretends to brainwash Odion)

Seth: You WILL let us walk out of here, ok? We PAID the bill.

Odion: (pretending to brainwashed) YES, YOU ARE FREE TO GO!

(Seth puts Rod away)

* * *

Seth: Who needs a card when we can use the Millennium Rod? (waves Rod) 

Bakura: Yeah, you can steal a lot easier with it. MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Yami: There are NO hassles with this.

Marik: If they give you problems, IT CAN SEND THEIR ASSES TO THE SHADOW REALM!

Shadi: As they say at the end of those commercials…

(Suddenly, Pegasus is on the stage)

Pegasus: Capital One…WHAT IS IN YOUR PANTS? (Thinking about Solomon)

Everyone: (OO) WHAT THE HELL?!

Pegasus: Oh, Oops. I meant, "In your wallet?"

* * *

Director: (to Kaiba) CAN I _**PLEASE **_FIRE THEM?! 

Seto: You wanna keep your job? Then I advise against it. We will deal with them ourselves!

* * *

**The following things took place:**

**_(At the Kame Game Shop/ Mutou Residence)_**

Yuugi: (pissed) YAMI! YOU BAKA! WHY DID YOU IMITATE ME ONSTAGE?!

Yami: Yuugi, I though it would be funny.

Yuugi: FUNNY?! AM I _**LAUGHING **_YAMI?! HUH?! AM I?!

Yami: SORRY! DAMN!

Yuugi: I will show YOU sorry… (burns Yami's copies of "Sexy Pharaoh" Magazine)

Yami: (OO) YUUGI…NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

* * *

_**(At the Bakura Residence)**_

Ryou: (just as pissed as Yuugi) BAKURA! YOU JACKASS!

Bakura: What?

Ryou: YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT, YOU IDIOT!

Bakura: I thought it was funny, and the others did too.

Ryou: (sniffs) HOW COULD YOU BE SO MEAN TO MEEEEEE????!!!! WAAAAHHHHH!!!!!(runs off crying)

Bakura: (runs after him) RYOU! OH, RYOU, COME ON! I DIDN"T MEAN IT!

* * *

**_(At the Ishtar Residence)_**

Malik: (really pissed) MARIK, YOU RAT-BASTARD!!

Marik: Wha-?You don't like it?

Malik: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK?!

Marik: Sorry…please forgive me.

Malik: Do you mean that? Well? Do you?

Marik: Uhhhhhh………….

Malik: (taking out a frying pan)

(Marik runs)

* * *

**_(At the Ishtar II residence)_**

Ishizu: (pissed) SHADI! YOU INSUFFERABLE JERK!

Shadi: I take it that was no good?

Ishizu: YOU WERE MOCKING ME!

Shadi: It was Bakura's idea, honest!

(Ishizu slaps him across the face and locks him out the house)

* * *

**_(At the Kaiba Mansion)_**

Seto: SETH! YOU SON OF A BITCH...COME HERE, DAMN IT!

Seth:Yes, love?

Seto: THAT SHIT WAS NOT FUNNY! HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME?!

Seth: How did I do that?

Seto: I do not have _'a stick up my ass'_, as you put it, but guess what is going up **YOUR** ass?!

(Seth runs and Seto chases)

* * *

--END— 

Well, whatcha think?

The next one should be …..who and on what?

Please R/R!

Thanks!


	13. Mai's Turn

Title: YGO Commercial Try-Outs

Genre: Humor

Rated: M

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL!

* * *

Thanks, once again, for my faithful readers and reviewers!

* * *

"The next commercial is from David's Bridal. Will Mai Valentine please come to the stage." said the Director. Mai saunters up to the stage to take her place at the podium.

Everything was being prepared for the audition. Mai was fixing her hair and makeup. Everyone, except a few, in the audience. The other girls were there to give Mai moral support. Solomon and Pegasus were not there. The hikaris were in the audience wondering where their yamis went to. Mokuba was wondering about Seto and Seth.

"QUIET ON THE SET!", shouted the Director. Everything was dead silent. "Are you set, Mai?"

"Ready", replied Mai with a smile.

"Mai's Screen Test-Take One. ACTION!"

* * *

Mai looked and flashed another smile as she began her try-out:

"That is right, you brides-to-be! Right now, for the New Year, David's Bridal is offering a winter clearance sale of their best wedding gowns and bridesmaids dresses. You do not need to pay out a lot of money to look your best for that walk down th aisle, ladies! I assure you that the savings are out of this world. Allow me to show you some of the styles, colors and …OH MY GOD!!!"

* * *

Yuugi, Ryou, Malik, Ishizu, Joey, Tristan, Duke, Mokuba, Tea, Rebecca, and Serenity were staring at the stage wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Mai was about to faint when she saw the ghastly sight before her:

* * *

"On the stage was a mock wedding ceremony. Usually, mannequins were supposed to be in the clothes, but this time….

**Seth was wearing his Ancient Egyptian priestly robes, acting as a minister;**

**Shadi was wearing a too tight strapless knee-length dress; acting as a 'flower…um,**

**person';**

**Bakura was dressed in a white tuxedo as the ring bearer;**

**Odion was wearing a strapless dress as well, being the 'man-of-honor", as it were;**

**Yami was dressed in his Pharaoh's robes, minus the crown, acting as the best man;**

**Marik was dressed in a black tuxedo with all his golden bangles and bracelets, being the groom; and**

**Seto was wearing a form-fitting short wedding dress, complete with flowers, curly hair, tiara, and make up. (Seto was under the Rod's control)

* * *

**

Yuugi was totally horrorstruck, as were Ryou and Malik. Ishizu was pissed. Everyone else were laughing their asses off, including the Director.

"Hurry, Mai. I do not know if I could keep Kaiba under this spell for long', said Marik.

"To Hell with this. I am so outta here!" Mai left, and the girls (except Ishizu) with her.

* * *

"YAMI! Get down from there NOW!" yelled Yuugi.

"You, too, Bakura! You should be ashamed of yourself!" said Ryou in disgust.

"MARIK, YOU JACKASS! WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU ABOUT THIS CRAP?!", retorted Malik.

"SHADI! You and Odion need to get your sickening asses down from there THIS RA-DAMNED MINUTE!" hollered Ishizu, totally pissed.

"WAIT!" cried Mokuba "Stay right where you are. I am **SO** filming this!"

"Why?" asks Yuugi, confused.

"So, the next time Seto threatens to ground me…**HE CAN'T! MWAHAHAHAHAHA**!"

"Hang on a sec kid." said the Dorector. "I WANT A COPY OF THAT WHEN YOU'RE DONE!"

"DEAL!" cried a Mappy Mokuba and he began filming his brother's oh-so-embarrassing-moment.

* * *

After he taped for thirty minutes, Mokuba was satisfied. "Okay, Marik. Release him."

Marik held up the Rod to Seto's face. "You are now free of the Rod's control".

Seto came to himself and was confused for a minute, Then, he looked down at his attire. He automatically knew then that it was the Rod.

"**_MARIK! YOU MOTHERFUCKER! I AM SO KICKING YOU PSYCHOTIC ASS_**!" Seto roared as he jumped all over Marik.

* * *

The fight ended with the following:

* * *

**The yamis going home with their hikaris…**

**The yamis not getting any that night, or any night for a week…**

**Mokuba getting severely grounded until Seto forgot he was angry (which was for about six months)

* * *

**

--END—

* * *

Well, whatcha think?

I think I will do the Duel Monsters for the next commercial.

Any suggestions for that one?

Please R/R!

Thanks!


	14. The Yamis Strike Again

Title: Yu-Gi-Oh Commercial Try-Outs

Rated: T

Authoress: TheFemalePharaoh

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL

* * *

The Director, after going on vacation to get over all the craziness form the last tryouts, was back to work.

"OK!" the Dorector announced. "The next ones that was going for a commerical tryout will be...OH HELL NO!"

"Is there a problem?" Malik asked.

The papers showed that the following people were up next for a group try-out..YAMI, BAKURA, SHADI, MARIK AND SETH.

The yamis and Shadi made their way up to the stage.

* * *

"They'll behave...we promise" said Yuugi "Won't you, Yami?"

"You, too, Bakura. You promised" added Ryou

"No bullshit today, Marik...got it?" warned Malik

"The same applies to you, Shadi. No nonsense" stated Ishizu

"I'm warning you, Seth..." threatened Seto.

"We promise" said the yamis (while crossing their fingers behind their backs).

* * *

"QUIET!" yelled the Director. All was silent. "Shaking his head he continues, "The yamis screen test...take one. ACTION!"

The yamis, along with Shadi, started:

"Do you have feelings of inadequacy?" asked Bakura  
"Do you suffer from shyness?" asked Marik  
"Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?" asked Yami

"If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila" stated Seth

* * *

Everyone did an anime fall.

"TEQUILA?!" yelled Yuugi.

"They are doing a commerical about liquor?!" shouted Ryou.

"I knew it" groaned Ishizu

"Ra-damnit, Marik! I told you no bullshit!" shouted Malik.

* * *

"Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. This is how I got through sex with Seto Kaiba." stated Seth happily.

* * *

Seto was red with rage. "DAMN IT, SETH! SHUT UP!"

* * *

"You will notice the benefits of Tequila almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live, like robbing the tombs in Domino Cemetary" stated Bakura.

* * *

Ryou sighed, "His favorite activity"

* * *

"Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, (well shyness anyway) and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila." said Shadi as he was taking off his clothes.

* * *

"SHADI! PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON AT ONCE!" shuoted Ishizu.

"Yes, we DO have children here, you know!" shouted Seto, covering Mokuba's eyes.

* * *

"However, Tequila may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila." stated Seth.

"However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it." said Marik. " In fact, I will be trying to get my Hikari-pretty pregnant when we're done with this commerical. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

"Marik, you ass! Shut the hell up!" shouted a blushing-out-of-embarrassment-Malik.

* * *

"Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister-in other words...like the Pharaoh when he's wasted" said Bakura

"SCREW YOU!" shouted Yami as he jumped on Bakura, beating the hell out of him.

"Tequila. Leave Shyness Behind." said Shadi, ending the commerical.

* * *

Everone stared in horror.

The Director just wept bitterly.

Yuugi dragged Yami home

So did Ryou with Bakura

So did Malik with Marik

So did Ishizu with Shadi

So did Seto with Seth.

* * *

Whatcha think?

So sorry that it took this long.

Please review.


	15. Yami and Bakura's Commerical

TItle: YGO Commerical Try-Outs

Authoress: TheFemalePharaoh

Rated: M

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL!

* * *

After the last disasterous commerical, the Director decided to play it safe and just ask for two yamis to be on the stage during the shoot. The two yamis that were selected were...YAMI AND BAKURA?! (A/N: RUN!)

Marik was sitting in the audience with Malik and Seth was doing the same with Seto.

Yami and Bakura had to set aside their differences to do this commerical, not an easy task for the Pharaoh and the Tomb Robber. They decided to do a commerical about buttons. (You know, the ones that has those neat little saying on them)

Yami and Bakura decided to use the buttons that they have concocted the Shadow Realm. (OO)

After receiving stren warnings from Yuugi and Ryou, the ancient spirits went onto the stage to get ready.

"QUIET!" shouted the Director. Everyone hushed. "Yami and Bakura Screen-Test. Take One. ACTION!"

* * *

Yami smiled at the camera and began:

"Greetings common people. I am Yami, King of Ancient Egypt. I, along with this (sigh)Tomb Robber named Bakura, have decided to do this commerical thing for our new line of buttons."

Bakura jumped in. "That's right, Pharaoh. We have hordes of buttons that we make using what is called Shadow Magic. Our business is called _'Buttons from Shadows.'"

* * *

_

Everyone just stared.

* * *

Yami: We even made some buttons for this very commercial.

Bakura: Yes, we have. For example...here is one for Yuugi and Yami.

* * *

The button reads: **_HEART OF THE CARDS?! WELL, WHOOP-DE-FUCKING-DO!

* * *

_**

Yuugi: (OO) (gasps)

Ryou: BAKURAAAAA!

Yami: (growling) I am warning you, Tomb Robber...

Bakura: Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Your turn, you washed-up Pharaoh.

Yami: (to Bakura) Fuck you. (to audience) Next, we have a button for Seto Kaiba.

* * *

The button reads; **_ADMITTING YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE IS THE FIRST STEP!_**

* * *

Mokuba: Yami, that was so mean!

Yuugi: YAMI!

Seth: (laughing)

Seto: (growling) I will skin your ass alive, Yami!

Yami: Give up the drem, Kaiba. (to Bakura) Your turn, you wacked-out thief.

Bakura: (to Yami) Go to Hell! (to audience) Now, we have one for the "golden retreiver" known to us as Joey Wheeler.

Joey: HEY!

* * *

The button reads: **_NOT THE BRIGHTEST CRAYON IN THE BOX, NOW ARE WE?_**

* * *

Joey: (OO) Whaa-?! I oughtta kick yer ass, you albino freak! (looks at Ryou) No offense, buddy.

Ryou: None taken, Joey. (to Bakura) BAKURA! Stop making fun of Joey!

Yuugi: Yeah, Bakura. That was harsh.

Bakura: When I get my hands on you, you Pharaoh wanna-be, I will..

Yami: Do NOTHING. Now, for my button. I had this button made just for Marik.

* * *

The button reads: **_ALCOHOL WAS MADE SO UGLY PSYCHOS LIKE YOU COULD GET LAID, TOO!_**

* * *

Malik: (blinks) Huh?

Marik: (eye-twitching) You son-of-a-bitch!

Malik: DOWN, BOY!

Marik: Fine.

Yuugi: Stop that, Yami. I mean it!

Yami: Sure, Hikari. (to Bakura) Take it away, Tomb Robber!

Bakura: Ah, my favorite phrase! Now, I had this button made just for Tea in light of her freindship rants.

* * *

The button reads: **_PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!_**

* * *

Tea: WAAAAAAHHH!!!!! (runs out the studio)

Mai: Man, that was low, Bakura!

Serenity: Even for you!

Seto: I kind of like that one!

Seth and Marik: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ryou: Enough, Bakura!

Bakura: (sigh) Go ahead with your button, Yami.

Yami: Thanks. Here is one that should make your day, Bakura, as well as Marik's, Seth's and mine.

* * *

The button reads: **_BEHIND EVERY GREAT YAMI IS A WHINING HIKARI!_**

* * *

Yuugi and Ryou: (OO)

Malik: Oh, no he didn't make that shit!

Seto: BASTARD!

Bakura, Marik, and Seth: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Mokuba: (Giggling) Good one, Yami!

Yami: Thank you. You're up, Bakura.

Bakura: Great one, Yami, Next we have one made for Seto Kaiba once again.

* * *

The button reads: **_PLEASE TAKE A NUMBER AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!_**

* * *

Seto: (blinking) I actually like that one. Put in an order for 500.

Mokuba: (gasps) SETO!

Seth: You do?

Seto: Yes.

Seth: How sad.

Bakura: Kaiba, we will be taking orders after this commerical. Have your credit card ready.

Seto: (whips out Japanese Express) Done!

Yami: (shaking head) Our next button is for our favorite psycho, Marik, once again.

* * *

The button reads: **_I SEE YOU'RE PLAYING STUPID AGAIN...AND IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE WINNING, TOO!_**

* * *

Marik: (OO) You son-of-a-Bitch! DIE!

Malik: (gets out Sennen Rod) Oh, no you don't. SIT!

Marik: (mutters Egyptian curses)

Bakura: (chuckling) Well, that was fun. Out next button was made for all us yamis.

* * *

The button reads: **_I AM SMILING. THAT ALONE SHOULD SCARE YOU!_**

* * *

Yami: I want that one!

Bakura: Make it yourself, then.

Yami: You ass.

Bakura: Asswipe

Yami: Douchebag

Bakura: Yo' mamma!

Yami: Why, you...forget it.

Marik: I want one!

Seth: Me too!

Yami: Our next one is for the Ice Prince, Seto Kaiba, again

* * *

The button reads: **_DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING PEOPLE PERSON?!_**

* * *

Seto: I want that one as well!

Seth: (sigh) You're hopeless

Marik: I want one!

Malik: (sigh) You would

Ryou: (OO) Okay?

Yuugi: (OO) Uh...

* * *

Bakura: That is all the buttons for today, folks. We will be taking orders after this.

Yami: We take cash, personal checks from everyone except Marik, cashiers' checks, money orders, and bank dafts.

Bakura: We will offer great deals for you if you order now.

* * *

Announcer: Call 1-877-KISS-OFF to receive your buttons! At Buttons From Shadows, you can tell people off, yami style. CALL NOW!

* * *

Whatcha think?

My thanks to Tomboy601 for that idea!

Please review!


	16. Seto and Joey's Turn

Title: YGO Commercial Try-Outs

Genre: Humor

Rating: T

Authoress: TheFemalePharaoh

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN COPYRIGHTED MATERIALS!

* * *

Seto and Joey's Turn

* * *

"Next, we have Seto Kaiba and...Joey Wheeler?" said the Director. 

"WHAT?!" yelled Joey. "I will not do a commercial with that asshole!"

"We had a bet and you lost, Mutt. So, you know what you have to do." said a smirking Seto.

"Damn!" cursed Joey as he went backstage.

Everyone wondered what in the world was going on with Joey, until he came back out dressed in the dog ears and collar

"KAIBA! THAT IS NOT FUNNY!", yelled Yami.

"Who say it was?" asked Seto.

"What kind of commercial is this?" asked Rebecca.

"For PETCO" said Seto.

"Kaiba, you are pathetic. Stop embarrasing Joey!" screamed Mai.

"We had a bet, Mai. I lost. I have to do this commercial" sighed Joey. "I need to be a man of my word."

"Quiet, Mutt!" said Seto.

"Okay then. Seto and Joey onstage, please" said the Director.

Seto led Joey to the stage on a leash.

"Seto, do not humiliate him", warned Seth.

"Yeah, yeah" said Seto.

"QUIET!" said the Director. All was silent.

* * *

"Seto and Joey's Screen Test for PETCO, Take one. ACTION!" said the Director. 

Seto looked at the camera and smiled.

"Hello, citizens of Domino. I am Seto Kaiba and this is my Golden Retriever-Mix named Joey. Say hello, Joey." said Seto.

"Hi" said Joey. Seto pulled on Joey's leash.

"Bad dog. Do it right" commanded Seto.

Joey growled adn sighed, "Woof! Woof!"

"Good doggie" Seto said to Joey and he looked at the camera.

"Come to PETCO for all of your pet care needs. If you come today, you will receive 60 pecent off your purchase." said Seto.

"Kaiba, I gotta go to the bathroom" whispered Joey.

"Quiet, Mutt!" said Seto.

"I GOTTA PISS, KAIBA!" yelled Joey.

"For Ra's sake, Kaiba, let him relieve himself", yelled Malik.

"It is only humane, you know" said Yuugi.

"Fine. Go, Mutt" said Seto. "Use it like a dog would...like the mutt you are!"

"Seto! I am warning you..." said Seth.

"That is harsh, Kaiba. Quite being a bastard!" yelled Tristan.

"It's cool, guys. I will piss like a dog." said Joey.

"JOEY!" yelled Serenity. "NO! You don't have to prove anything to him!"

Joey got this really evil grin on his face.

He then stripped down from the waist.

He got down on his knees...

He lifted up is right leg...

He pissed like a dog...

**_ALL OVER SETO KAIBA'S $2,000 GIORGIO ARMANI DRESS SLACKS!_**

Everyone: (OO) then went, "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Seto: (OO) AAAAHHHHH!!!! My slacks! You son of a bitch! I will kill you, Wheeler!

Seth: DO IT, SETO, AND YOU'LL HAVE NO SEX FOR A MONTH!

Seto: (OO) B-b-but...SETH!

Seth: I mean it! You only got back waht you deserved! How dare you embarrass him like that!

Seto: What am I supposed to do now, Seth?!

Seth: have them dry-cleaned and shut up!

Seto: (stomps out of the studio)

* * *

How was that? 

Please R/R!


	17. OMG The Yamis Again

* * *

Title: YGO Commercial Try-Outs 

Authoress: TheFemalePharaoh

Chapter Nineteen: OMG...THE YAMIS AGAIN!

Disclaimer: NOT MINE!

* * *

**_AUTHOR'S ANNOUNCEMEMT_**

**If you guys are wondering whatever happened to Chapters Two and Nine...I REMOVED THEM...the reason being is that I feel that it grossed out some people more than I wanted it to. So, as a result, I decide that they weren't worth keeping, thus removing them. I'll think of something else to put in their places. Anyway, THANKS FOR READING!**

* * *

The Director was getting over Jou and Kaiba's commerical. Jou was pleased with himseld and Seto was at the cleaners. 

"Okay people, we have a Public Service Announcement to do. Anyone?" asked the Direcor.

Suddenly, the stage was occupied...by Yami, Bakura, Marik, Shadi, and Seth!

"Oh, God! Yami, please just act right, please?" begged Yuugi.

"Of course, Aibou" said Yami.

"Bakura, do I even NEED to say it?" sighed Ryou.

"Okay, I'll behave" muttered Bakura.

"Marik..." started Malik.

"I know, no bullshit." said Marik.

"Shadi, please..." Ishizu said.

"I shall, love" said Shadi.

"You too, Seth, or I'll telll Seto" warned Mokuba.

"Yes, littel brother" said Seth.

(They were crossing their fingers and shutting off the mindlinks, by the way)

"QUIET!" said the Director. All was silent.

"Yami, Bakura, Seth, Marik, and Shadi's Screen Test...take one. ACTION!"

* * *

**THE FOLLOWING IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT**

* * *

"Greetings, citizens. Are you tired of telemarketers interrupting your dinner? Your quality time with your family? Your sex lives? Well, we have the solution right here!" said Yami. 

The sign read: _**THE YAMIS' TOP RESPONSES TO TELEMAKETERS**_

"Oh no" muttered Yuugi.

"They didn't..." said Ryou, covering his eyes.

"Oh, they did" said Malik.

"I knew it" said Mokuba

"I should have seen THIS one coming, at least" muttered Ishizu.

"Hey, shush!" said Serenity, Mai, Tea, Rebecca, and Solomon.

""Yeah, some of us are listening" said Joey, with Tritan and Duke nodding in agreement.

* * *

_**"**If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money"_ said Yami.

* * *

Solomon: That won't work with me. 

Pegasus: Or me.

Duke: Or me.

Mokuba: Or Seto

Director: Or me.

* * *

_"If they start out with, 'How are you today?' say, 'I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . '"_ said Bakura.

* * *

Ryou: (shaking his head) Damn fool. 

Yuugi: Well, Ryou, it could be worse.

Malik: Yeah, Ryou, he could be MARIK!

Ryou: I take that back.

* * *

_**"**If they say they're John Doe from Ooga-Booga Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. They'll definitely get off the phone"_ said Marik.

* * *

Malik: (sigh) see what I told you, Ryou? (to Marik) CUT THE BULLSHIT , MARIK!

* * *

_**"**This one works. Telemarketer: 'Hi, my name is James and I'm with LaLa Land Company.' You: 'Wait for a second 'and with a real husky voice ask,'What are you wearing tonight?', _said Seth.

* * *

Yami: That would get them arrested, Seth. 

Seth: True, but they will stop calling, won't they?

Yami: Good point.

* * *

_"Cry out in surprise, 'Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been? Girl didn't you hear...I'm off my meds today, and my psychiatrist says I'm safe to be on the phone now seeing that I stopped saying 'Kill Judy' over and over. Oops, I just said it. Don't tell my shrink, okay?' Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from."_ said Marik.

* * *

Malik: You...are SICK! 

Marik: Thank you love. I take that as a compliment.

Malik: I will be locking my bedroom door tonight, you should know that.

* * *

_**"**Say 'No' over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up."_ said Shadi.

* * *

Ishizu: (shaking her head) He just HAD to be MINE. 

Tea: Poor girl.

* * *

_**"**If a telephone comapny calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, 'I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?'. That will make them hang up for sure"_ said Marik.

* * *

Malik: YOU PSYCHO! I KNEW YOU WEREN'T WRAPPED TOO TIGHT! 

Seth: Marik, that is just creepy...even for YOU!

* * *

_"If the company cleans rugs, respond with 'Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?'"_ said Bakura.

* * *

Ryou: (OO) BAKURA! YOU BAKA! THAT'S JUST GROSS! 

Yuugi: I agree, Ryou.

* * *

_**"**After the Telemarketer gives his or her sales pitch crap, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger"_ said Shadi.

* * *

Mai: WOW! I need to use that one! 

Ishizu: Mai, STOP ENCOURAGING HIM!

Mai: What? It's a good one.

Ishizu: (sigh) Whatever.

* * *

_"Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees" _said Seth.

* * *

Seto: (back from the cleaners) Now, THAT is a great one. Thanks, Seth.

* * *

_"Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, 'Oh My God!' and then hang up"_ said Bakura.

* * *

Ryou: (OO) That...was scary. 

Malik: Well, he's YOUR yami.

Yuugi: Ryou, you poor man.

* * *

_"Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, 'I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right' The Telemarketer will agree and you say, 'Me either' then hang up"_ said Marik.

* * *

Malik: That was the best one he came up with. I am impressed. 

Marik: Malik, do you want to suck...

Malik: DON'T EVEN _**THINK**_ ABOUT FINISHING THAT DEPRAVED SENTENCE!

* * *

_"Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times"_ said Bakura.

* * *

Solomon: I could use that one. 

Pegasus: Me too.

* * *

_"Tell them you're in the middle of sex right now, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to screw your lover at your leisure. Moan loudly and continue with your conversation"_ said Yami.

* * *

Everyone: (OO') 

Yuugi: (blushing like mad) YAMI!

Joey: Whoa, man...too much information!

Tristan: AH! My nose is bleeding! (runs to get a tissue with Duke following)

Rebecca: Ewwww!

* * *

_"Tell the Telemarketer you are on 'home incarceration' and ask if they could bring you some beer and porn"_ said Marik.

* * *

Malik: (sigh) Only your diseased mind would come up with this. 

Solomon: Oh good God!

* * *

_"Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number"_ said Yami.

* * *

Mokuba: Come on, Yami! You're the Game King. You can do WAY better than that. Even fifth graders can do that.

* * *

_"Tell the Telemarketer, 'Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes and I am giving myself a sexual massage. Wanna watch?'"_ said Shadi.

* * *

Ishizu: YOU PERVERT! 

Yami: Damn, Shadi. I know you're into some kinky stuff, but that was just TOO much!

Seto: (covering Mokuba's ears) WE DO HAVE CHILDREN HERE, YOU KNOW!

Joey: (covering Serenity's ears) Yeah, dude! Come on!

Solomon: (covering Rebecca's ears) FOR SHAME!

* * *

_"Insist that the caller is really Bandit Kieth playing a joke. 'Come on, Bandit Kieth, cut it out! Seriously, man, how's your mamma?'"_ said Seth. 

Everyone was laughing, ending the commerical.

The Director was about to faint from laughter and the hikaris were busy scolding their yamis.

* * *

**How was that one?**

**Jib Jab once again!**

**Please review!**


	18. The Yamis Strike Yet Again!

Title: YGO Commerical Try-Outs

Authoress: TheFemalePharaoh

Genre: Humor

Rating: M

Disclaimer: NOT MINE!

* * *

Chapter: The Yamis Strike Yet Again! (OO)

* * *

"Director. we have yet another commercial here. Wanna see?" asked Marik, grinning.

The Director blanched. "Do I have to?"

Bakura took out a Bowie Knife and smiled sadistically, "Wanna find out what happens if you dont?"

Everyone sighed. Classic Bakura.

The Director relented. "Fine, do it. What do I have to lose, besides my career?"

Marik smiled again. "I knew you would see it our way."

All the yamis gathered onstage. The Director shook his head and went on with his job.

"The yamis screen test...oh, God! Take One-ACTION!"

All the yamis stared at the camera. Meanwhile the hikaris and everyone else were praying to every deity that things go smoothly.

* * *

**Onstage...**

* * *

"Greetings, mortals. Have you ever been sick and don't know what to do?" asked Yami. 

"Have you ever tried home remedies that don't prevail?" asked Bakura.

"Do you wish to prevail where the modern-day healers failed?" asked Shadi.

"Do you wish to try something that has never been attempted in millennia?" asked Seth.

"Well, if you answered 'yes', then it's time to reveal..."said Marik.

**"THE HOME REMEDIES OF THE SHADOW REALM!" **the yamis said at once.

Everyone paled.

"Let's begin, shall we?" asked Bakura.

* * *

_"If you are choking on an ice cube...simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself"_ said Yami.

* * *

"YAMI!" Yuugi gasped.

* * *

_"Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the veggies while you chop. You might cut them, but hey, no skin off your nose, right?"_ said Bakura.

* * *

"BAKURA! THAT'S INSANE...EVEN FOR YOU!" Ryou shouted.

* * *

_"Avoid arguments with the your partner or spouse about lifting the toilet seat...by using the sink. I do that at home"_ said Marik, smiling.

* * *

Everyone gagged and turned green. "EEEWWWW"

"MARIK, YOU BAKA! I HAVE TO WASH MY FACE IN THAT,YOU SICK ASS FUCK!" ranted Malik, feeling queasy.

_

* * *

_ began Bakura.

* * *

Solomon was all ears, as he too has high blood pressure.

* * *

* * *

Solomon fainted, as did Pegasus.

Mokuba threw up. "UGH! SETO! THAT'S DISGUSTING!"

"_Disgusting_ is not the word I would use for him" said a nauseated Seto, taking out his antacid pills.

_

* * *

_ said Seth, smiling.

* * *

Everyone winced and grimaced at the thought.

"Daaaaaaaamn! That's morbid" muttered Joey.

Seto stared at Seth, eyes wide with horrified shock. "THAT WAS YOU?! I THOUGHT THAT WAS MOKUBA!"

Mokuba laughed his ass off.

Seth turned red. "Uh, oops?"

"We WILL be talking when we get home!" Seto snarled. Seth turned pale.

* * *

_"If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough, thus stopping the coughing" _said Shadi.

* * *

Ishizu stared in shock and in disgust. "You're not going to to that to me...are you?"

Shadi shook his head. "No, love, However, Marik did to Tristan and Duke last week."

Tristan and Duke stared at Marik with pure hatred. "THAT WAS YOU?!"

Marik chuckled. Malik shook his head and apologized to Marik's victims.

"I thought I had a stomach virus!" yelled Duke, ready to kill.

"Yeah, and I thought it was Duke's cheesecake!" yelled Tristan.

"HEY!" yelled Duke at Tristan. " I can so make a cheesecake!"

"My bill from the Domino Hospital Emergency Room last month would disagree!" retorted Tristan.

"That's enough!" yelled Yuugi."Stop it and apologize!"

"Sorry" Duke and Tristan said in unison.

* * *

_"You can always use the duct tape when you're too cheap to buy comdoms"_ said Yami.

* * *

Yuugi blushed in embarrassment and stared in horror. "YAMI! STOP THAT!"

* * *

_"Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them"_ said Shadi.

* * *

"We should know" said Yuugi, Ryou, Seto, Malik, and Ishizu in unison.

"Well, that's all the time we have for today, folks. We now depart with this final shot..." began Shadi.

* * *

_**SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES: NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE...WHEN THEY ARE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!**"_ chorused the other yamis.

* * *

"CUT!" yelled the Director. "That was terrible!"

"Thank you!" returned the yamis.

* * *

Well, how was that folks? 

Please R/R!


	19. Chapter 19

Title: YGO Commerical Try-Outs

Authoress: TheFemalePharaoh

Genre: Humor

Rating: M

Disclaimer: NOT MINE!

(I know that this is a repeat chapter, but for some reason, this is not loading the right way...so, I made this duplicate chapter for you to leave your reviews!)

* * *

Chapter Nineteen: The Yamis Strike Yet Again! (OO)

* * *

"Director. we have yet another commercial here. Wanna see?" asked Marik, grinning. 

The Director blanched. "Do I have to?"

Bakura took out a Bowie Knife and smiled sadistically, "Wanna find out what happens if you dont?"

Everyone sighed. Classic Bakura.

The Director relented. "Fine, do it. What do I have to lose, besides my career?"

Marik smiled again. "I knew you would see it our way."

All the yamis gathered onstage. The Director shook his head and went on with his job.

"The yamis screen test...oh, God! Take One-ACTION!"

All the yamis stared at the camera. Meanwhile the hikaris and everyone else were praying to every deity that things go smoothly.

* * *

**Onstage...**

* * *

"Greetings, mortals. Have you ever been sick and don't know what to do?" asked Yami. 

"Have you ever tried home remedies that don't prevail?" asked Bakura.

"Do you wish to prevail where the modern-day healers failed?" asked Shadi.

"Do you wish to try something that has never been attempted in millennia?" asked Seth.

"Well, if you answered 'yes', then it's time to reveal..."said Marik.

**"THE HOME REMEDIES OF THE SHADOW REALM!" **the yamis said at once.

Everyone paled.

"Let's begin, shall we?" asked Bakura.

* * *

_"If you are choking on an ice cube...simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself"_ said Yami.

* * *

"YAMI!" Yuugi gasped.

* * *

_"Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the veggies while you chop. You might cut them, but hey, no skin off your nose, right?"_ said Bakura.

* * *

"BAKURA! THAT'S INSANE...EVEN FOR YOU!" Ryou shouted.

* * *

_"Avoid arguments with the your partner or spouse about lifting the toilet seat...by using the sink. I do that at home"_ said Marik, smiling.

* * *

Everyone gagged and turned green. "EEEWWWW"

"MARIK, YOU BAKA! I HAVE TO WASH MY FACE IN THAT,YOU SICK ASS FUCK!" ranted Malik, feeling queasy.

_

* * *

_ _"For those of you with hugh blood prssure..."_began Bakura.

* * *

Solomon was all ears, as he too has high blood pressure.

* * *

_"...cut your arm and let the blood drain from your arteries and/or veins, this relieveing the pressure. Remember to use a timer"_ Bakura finished, grinning maniacally.

* * *

Solomon fainted, as did Pegasus.

Mokuba threw up. "UGH! SETO! THAT'S DISGUSTING!"

"_Disgusting_ is not the word I would use for him" said a nauseated Seto, taking out his antacid pills.

_

* * *

_ _"A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button" _said Seth, smiling.

* * *

Everyone winced and grimaced at the thought.

"Daaaaaaaamn! That's morbid" muttered Joey.

Seto stared at Seth, eyes wide with horrified shock. "THAT WAS YOU?! I THOUGHT THAT WAS MOKUBA!"

Mokuba laughed his ass off.

Seth turned red. "Uh, oops?"

"We WILL be talking when we get home!" Seto snarled. Seth turned pale.

* * *

_"If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough, thus stopping the coughing" _said Shadi.

* * *

Ishizu stared in shock and in disgust. "You're not going to to that to me...are you?"

Shadi shook his head. "No, love, However, Marik did to Tristan and Duke last week."

Tristan and Duke stared at Marik with pure hatred. "THAT WAS YOU?!"

Marik chuckled. Malik shook his head and apologized to Marik's victims.

"I thought I had a stomach virus!" yelled Duke, ready to kill.

"Yeah, and I thought it was Duke's cheesecake!" yelled Tristan.

"HEY!" yelled Duke at Tristan. " I can so make a cheesecake!"

"My bill from the Domino Hospital Emergency Room last month would disagree!" retorted Tristan.

"That's enough!" yelled Yuugi."Stop it and apologize!"

"Sorry" Duke and Tristan said in unison.

* * *

_"You can always use the duct tape when you're too cheap to buy comdoms"_ said Yami.

* * *

Yuugi blushed in embarrassment and stared in horror. "YAMI! STOP THAT!"

* * *

_"Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them"_ said Shadi.

* * *

"We should know" said Yuugi, Ryou, Seto, Malik, and Ishizu in unison.

"Well, that's all the time we have for today, folks. We now depart with this final shot..." began Shadi.

* * *

_**SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES: NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE...WHEN THEY ARE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!**"_ chorused the other yamis.

* * *

"CUT!" yelled the Director. "That was terrible!"

"Thank you!" returned the yamis.

* * *

Well, how was that folks? 

Please R/R!


End file.
